Today's Post Is Like a Giant Bowl of Different Kinds of Candy...Some of the Pieces are Delicious Chocolate...Some You Might Want to Spit Out.

So there will be no coherent thought to my post today. I just have a lot of things I need to touch on. So today's post is like a giant bowl of different kinds of candy. You might not like it all, but it's still sugar all the same. Right?

OK. Here we go...


Hi my name is Amy and it is the fall and yes, I will go out of my way to step on crunchy looking leaves.


LARRY CRAIG: I'm not gay.
Yes, Larry Craig. You're right. You're not gay. What you are is a freakin' pervert. Thanks for telling the world you're not gay. Because I've got news for you: us gays don't want you. I mean really. If you're going to cruise for men in public restrooms at least be fabulous about it like George Michael.
George Michael.
Now there's a gay I can respect.



And now Amy's Blog Drama Theatre Presents: Asks The Same Questions Twice McGee...
Phone rings. (This is not a joke. It actually happened)
ME: Hi, this is Amy how may I help you?
ASK THE SAME QUESTIONS TWICE MCGEE: Hi. Do you have tickets left for today? I was wondering if you have tickets left for today?
ME: Today's show is sold out.
ASK THE SAME QUESTIONS TWICE MCGEE: So what do you have left for other shows? I mean do you have anything left?
ME: The only thing I have available if a show isn't already sold out are single seats.
ASK THE SAME QUESTIONS TWICE MCGEE: So do you have single seats for today? And single seats for today at all?
ME: Today's show is completely sold out.
ASK THE SAME QUESTIONS TWICE MCGEE: So where exactly are you located? I mean like how do you get there?
ME: (Give her our address, the major intersection by us ect.)
ASK THE SAME QUESTIONS TWICE MCGEE: So how do I get there exactly? I mean can you give me directions?
(Pause)
(Pause)
ME: Where are you coming from?
ASK THE SAME QUESTIONS TWICE MCGEE: I'll be traveling west on this street, so I mean where do I turn? Do I turn on this street?
ME: (Gives her directions)
ASK THE SAME QUESTIONS TWICE MCGEE: So what do tickets cost? I mean, like, how do ticket prices work? How much are they? How does that work?
ME: (Explain ticket prices)
ASK THE SAME QUESTIONS TWICE MCGEE: So do you have any tickets left at all? I mean like anything at all left? I mean how does that work? How do I get tickets?
ME: Um, the only thing I have left are single seats that aren't together on select days.
ASK THE SAME QUESTIONS TWICE MCGEE: Do you have anything on a Thursday? Like a Thursday night any tickets?
ME: I have four left on the 18th, but again those aren't together.
ASK THE SAME QUESTIONS TWICE MCGEE: So that's all you have left? I mean nothing else?
ME: For that Thursday, yes. And that's our last Thursday performance. I do have tickets for other days, like next weekend but they are all single seats.
ASK THE SAME QUESTIONS TWICE MCGEE: OK, thanks for you help. So the only time you have anything left is the 18th? I mean is that how it works?
I'm going to stop there, because you can see how it goes in circles. And it continued to go that way. I won't bore you with the next five minutes of our conversation. But I would urge everyone to please take their Ritalin before contacting a box office to purchase tickets. Especially if you're trying to get tickets for High School Musical.



Phone rings.
ME: This is Amy how may I help you?
LADY: Hi, I was wondering do you have a Rat Pack revue there?
ME: No, we don't.
LADY: Like a Rat Pack revue with Frank Sinatra and Dean Martin...you know? I mean not the actual people, but like a revue?
ME: No. We don't have anything like that here.
LADY: Do you know where something like that is?
(Pause)
ME: I don't know. I saw something like that at Piper's Alley, but that was probably like 10 years ago. So you may want to check there.
LADY: Ok, thanks.



OK. So it's fall, and as such the little squirrels are preparing their nuts for hibernation.
This makes them crazed.
If I had a dollar for every crazed squirrel that ran out in front of my car while I drive I could pay off my college loans. If also had a dollar for every squirrel-that-didn't-make-it-across-the-road carcass I passed...I could buy a yacht.
And I feel for these guys, I do. I can pretty much hear their internal monologue as they run across the road...
"I gotta get my nuts!I gotta get my nuts! Winter is coming and my nuts are going to freeze if I don't get nuts!!! AHHHH!!! NUTS!!!!!"
But dude.
Squirrels, those nuts ain't going to do you no good if I run over your squirrel-y ass with my car. Plus, I would feel horrible for the rest of my life if I ever killed one of you. So PLEASE be careful!


So the past couple days have been really bad lunch days for me.
Friday I just totally forgot my damn lunch. It sat on the counter. I was really pissed about it. Really pissed. You should ask David. I swore a lot. I went to get it out of my bag because I realized that I didn't put my lunch in the fridge. Turns out I didn't even put it my bag.
Crap.
So I made my lunch today. A sandwich. It was gonna be really good. Prosciutto and goat cheese. Mmmm. So I take out my sandwich to eat it and I see little specs of green all over the bread. Mold.
The worst part?
I ate a slice with breakfast this morning.
So if I don't blog for a while I may have mold poisoning...


What else did I have to say?
Oh yeah...

I'm officially done with craigslist. Between Lesbian Nihilists, Lesbians that like to "drink", Lesbians with kids, and Lesbians who are Polish Men...I'm done.
I'm just going to trust that someone will fall into my lap. I hope. Someone please fall into my lap?
(And by done with craigslist I mean done answering personal ads. However, I will continue to check the missed connections section. You know...just in case the person who's supposed to fall into my lap misses as I get up for the bus or something)


Oh yeah and this:

It's the Gay Pride Leggings Parade!!!!!!