A Post About the Stupid Shit I Do: Revisted

So today has been a classic "Amy Day" and the day isn't even half way over yet.

This morning I put my wallet through the wash.
I put in a load of laundry, and went to walk out the door and run errands. I realized I didn't have my wallet and, "Oh, it's just in my jean's pocket" I thought. "Oh shit." I then realized. "I put those jeans in the wash five minutes ago." And since my washer is of the side-loading variety...I couldn't just open up the door, find my jeans and grab the wallet without flooding the apartment. Flooding the apartment is not on my list of things to do right now. So as soon as the wash is done, I get my wallet. There isn't too much damage done. Sure, the list of "signs" I'm allowed to date was casuality but I can always ask Audra to give me the list again. And that list was impeding my ability to get dates rather than helping, so maybe it's a good thing it didn't survive the wash cycle. And the two twenty dollars bills I had in there weren't destroyed, so hey...I was counting my blessings. I put the money in my pocket to try and dry it off and then ran out the door to the UPS store. When it came time to pay, I handed the cashier the damp bills, hoping she wouldn't notice. She took them and gave me a quizzical look.
"Oh." She said. "They're wet." I then explained to this lady in a explanation that was probably too much of an explanation that I had put my wallet through the wash. She couldn't help but laugh at me, and frankly, niether could I.

I set the security alarm in my apartment off this morning.
So, before I left for the UPS store I went downstairs to check my mail, forgetting I had armed the security system. I opened the door and the alarm went nuts. Normally, when I leave I set the alarm so that when I get home, I have time to disarm it before it goes bonkers. But at night, since I live alone, I set the alarm to go bonkers should any one open or try to open one of the doors. I forgot I to disarm the system before I opened the door. System went bonkers.
Luckily, this isn't the first time it has happend and I knew how to make the system go un-bonkers.
Phew.

So I dropped brand new lunch meat on the floor today.
I went grocery shopping. Got myself some fresh lunch meat and cheese and made myself a sandwhich for lunch. As I was putting the lunch meat away, it slipped out of my hands and landed with a splat on the floor. A profanity or two may or may not have been uttered.


Everyone should probably keep a safe distance from me today. Clearly, I am dangerous.