I've Got Nothing Against Leashing Traditionally Un-Leashed Pets

Ok, so I felt kinda bad after slamming girl-walking-the-ferret in my last post. It just was a little odd to see someone walking a ferret. And I have nothing against odd. I mean, people in glass houses should not throw stones, right?
Also, there is something I need to come clean about...
When I was a kid I had a rabbit.
And I had a leash for my rabbit.
And I would walk him around the back yard.
THERE!
I said it! I walked my rabbit. I leashed a traditionally unleashed pet.
And I was so proud.
I can remember desperately wanting a rabbit leash for whatever reason. I was by not stretch of the imagination a spoiled kid. I wasn't the type of kid who wanted the latest everything. There wasn't a lot that I "needed" to have.
I mean of course I wanted a horse. Every girl wants a horse, plus I actually LIKED horses and took riding lessons. So I wasn't Veruca Salt like, "Daddy! I want a pony nooooww!!" But basically, besides a horse, there are a couple things I can remember wanting with a deadly passion when I was a kid:
a) An EZ 2 DO (I love what I can do with my EZ 2 Do). It was probably one of my final attempts at straightness. I liked it for about five seconds then was left wondering why the hell I wanted something that would make jewelry.
b) A Rock Tumbler. I was way into digging for cool rocks when I was a kid. We moved out to the way-out suburbs when they were just developing, so we always had empty, un-sodded lots around us. I spent hours staring in the dirt looking for sparkly rocks. And when I figured out sometimes ugly rocks had Sparkly-ness inside. I hunted for ugly rocks too and cracked them open with a sledge hammer on my driveway. HA! It's probably one of the reasons my arms look so buff. Because I was nine years old, a peanut, and wielding a sledge hammer to smash rocks. I was a hardcore kid and I took rock hunting very seriously. I had a little bag I carried around with me to put them in as I found them. I documented them in notebooks. I organized them. I would have been as a good a archaeologist as Doogie Howser was a doctor.
c) A Microscope. I have no justification for this other than to say I was a huge nerd growing up. The microscope came with a whole bunch of dyes and chemicals and crap to look at. One bottle was labeled "Shrimp Eggs" I hatched them and tracked their growth. I drew pictures. I drew pictures of them under the varying degrees of magnification of my microscope. The pictures were in color. I spent a lot of time with my microscope. I probably thought I was going to cure cancer. I wanted to cure cancer. Also, I had no friends so me and my microscope were BFFs. That does seem really sad, but the thing is I'm really not kidding so mostly its just hilarious.
d) A Rabbit Leash. My parents made the unfortunate decision of getting my brother and I rabbits. If you don't know rabbits are really dirty, smelly animals. I don't recommend them as pets, cute as they may be. And I loved my rabbit. His name was Fenwick. My brother's was named Broccoli. They were really cute. I had this strange notion that Fenwick and I were best friends. Fenwick didn't seem to think so though. He would cower in his cage every time I came near him. And I'm pretty sure his internal monologue was, "For the love of God, I don't want to be you're sidekick. I'm a goddamn bunny. Go get some friends and leave me in peace. If you take me out I'm just going to poop on you and run under your bed where you can't get me." But I loved him anyway. He was my first pet that was, "mine." So I had this idea that I had to walk him, that I needed to walk him so we could be best friends and have the proper pet/master relationship. But you need a leash to walk a pet. And bunny leashes are not easy to find. But it's all I wanted for a long time. "Gee golly gosh Mom and Dad I sure do wish I had a leash so I could walk Fenwick." -That sorta thing. And it took a long while, but you know what? My parents found a damn rabbit leash. I can distinctly remember the day they presented it to me. I was sitting on my bed. They said, "We have a surprise for you." And then handed me the rabbit leash. It was purple and fastened around a cardboard cut out of a rabbit. I was beside myself with happiness. I spent most of the next day trying to get Fenwick into the leash. Which was really difficult. Because Fenwick's internal monologue was probably, "I'm not a friggin' dog, kid." And then I took him out in the backyard and Fenwick got really excited. "Oh my God!" He was probably thinking. "I'm free!!" And then he tried to run and was like, "Oh yeah. That's right. This dumb kid has me tethered with a purple leash. My life sucks."

Anyway. The point of that all was to apologize to girl-walking-ferret. And say, "I've been there. I used to walk my rabbit."

So...the other day David and I had an in depth conversation about the dynamics of poop-throwing. Like, you know how monkeys throw their poop when they're pissed? We were talking about the circumstances, societal constraints, and consequences if a person were to throw around their poop if they were pissed.
It sounds gross.
And it really, really is.
But it was also one of the most hilarious and interesting conversations of the week.
And we probably talked for a good half hour about just this topic.
ANYWAY.
That conversation led to some other conversation, which I'm not going to explain and just give you the Quote of the Day because it's probably much funnier that way...

QUOTE OF THE DAY
DAVID: Do you love that I googled, "tampon throwing?"

LITTLE GIRL AT THE WINDOW TELLING ME ABOUT HER HAMSTER, LAZLO: He was in a ball and fell off my dresser the other day. He's very activity.
GIRL'S MOM: Active. He's very active.
LITTLE GIRL AT THE WINDOW TELLING ME ABOUT HER HAMSTER, LAZLO: He's very active.