Missed Connection

Hey guys! I have some exciting news. I think it's possible I might have a "missed connections" on craigslist within the next day or so!!
I think it's going to go something like this-

WHERE-Clybourn Metra Station
YOU- Feeding cookie crumbs to pigeons taking special attention to see that the pigeon with the busted wing and leg got the crumbs. You called him, "gimpy." You kept saying, "Here, Gimpy...quick get it before the other guys!!! Here...get it Gimpy!!!" You told the other pigeons to "fuck off" several times. Telling them, "Hey guys! Knock it off. Your friend is hurt, let him eat the cookies!!! SCREW OFF" You chased them away several times.
ME-The totally hot girl that walked by you, saw and heard what you were doing, gave you a weird look at went to sit on a bench far away from you. I don't want to meet you. I just want to tell you that you're crazy and should seek help. Also, you're never going to get a girlfriend.


OR I might get one that will go something like this...

WHERE-Clybourn Metra Station
YOU- Gave me cookie crumbs.
ME-Gimpy.
I don't have a phone so you can't call me. But clearly I have access to a computer and the internet. But I don't really want you to email me. What I really want is to rendezvous back at the train station sometime. Like...tomorrow. Bring cookies. Also, I like cake. And if you're going to bring cake...I drink Merlot. Something French please? I don't go for California wine. Thanks.

Um. The sad part is...yes this really did happen.

Do you ever have those moments where you sorta go out of body and catch yourself doing something and are like, "Oh shit. If I'm not crazy yet, I'm certainly headed that way at a brisk clip."?
Yeah. I had one of those moments today. I saw this pigeon gimping around the train station and I felt so bad for it that I just had to take my cookies out of my bag and throw him crumbs. Which of course, brought nine of his friends flapping over to me from their various perches around the train station. I told them to "fuck off" several times, while throwing crumbs to "Gimpy" as I called him. Making sure he got the lion's share of my cookie remnants.
Hot girl walked by and totally caught me.
Later I wondered if Gimpy really was a gimp. Or just a really good actor.
In which case I was was had by a pigeon.
Which makes the state of my mind all the more troublesome.
Then I realized the fact that I even thought enough about Gimpy's inner life to wonder if he was playing the gimp act to get me (or people like me) to feel sorry for him and feed him cookie crumbs, was in fact troublesome in regards to the state of my mind.
Oh man guys.
I am totally going to be the crazy Home Alone pigeon lady.