The Most Bad-Ass Thing I Have Ever Done

Oh man you guys-this is the most bad-ass thing I have ever done. I'm coming to you live from my philosophy class, and when I should be learning-I'm blogging instead.

I am such a bad-ass.

You can't really blame me though. Let me paint a picture of this class for you:

The dude who teaches it is probably 23-26. Not much older than me. So, you'd think: "He'd probably be a pretty sweet prof, right? Young. Hip. I bet he makes the material really interesting."
Um. You'd be wrong. He is hands down the worst professor I have ever had. This class meets once a week. For two and a half hours. And for the full two and a half hours (save for one 10 minute break where we are allowed to push the brains that have melted and sopped out of our ears back into our heads) he talks. And talks. And talks. And talks. And talks. And talks.
He stands up at the front out of the class and basically sums up the reading. For TWO AND A HALF HOURS. This is my impression of him. Ready?
"So Locke says this blah blah blah blah. State of Nature blah blah blah blah blah blah rights of nature blah blah blah blah blah and as it says on page 32 blah blah blah blah blah (writes some shit on the board) blah blah blah. Hobbes blah blah blah. Locke and Hobbes are different blah blah blah blah blah. Laws or nature blah blah. Moral principles. Blah blah blah blah blah. We have obligations towards other people blah blah blah blah. With Hobbes there are no blah blah blah blah blah blah blah."

Ok, so that wasn't so much an impression as a transcribing of the first 10 minutes of class.

Sound fun?

He. Just. Talks. I feel bad knocking him so badly. I just don't think he knows how to teach very well. He's a super smart dude. He knows his shit. And it's gotta be really hard to teach a class of 40 college students for two and a half hours. I feel like I could take this class if it met three times a week for fifty minutes. But damn.
The class starts around 4:15 and it's usually around 5:30 when I realize I still have an hour and fifteen minutes to go that I feel like shoving a butter knife through the side of my head.

I realize I'm also restless. I'm not totally a senior yet and already I have a wicked bad case of senioritis. But really the senioritis only applies to my gen eds. As of right now, I'm in a history, I'm in this class, and I'm taking a science.
And it's so frustrating. While I like learning new and interesting things...molecules are not the kind of stuff I want to devote serious amounts of study time to right now. I hate that learning about molecules takes time away from things I could be learning about theatre.

Ok, so enough bitterness about education.

What should I talk about while I'm being a bad-ass? I've gotta a little more than 1/4 of battery life left on my computer and my mind is screaming for stimulation.

UPDATE!...He's still talking.
You know what else pisses me off??
The book for this class is like six inches thick and weighs a gillion pounds.
So there.

Oh, so I've been wanting to ask this question for a while. Please respond with comments. Ok, so when you're waiting for a bus or train it is my feeling that you should generally board in the order that you got there. I mean, it doesn't need to be exact. But generally, if I arrive at a stop and the bus comes two minutes later, I will usually hang back and let the people who were waiting go first. I just think it's polite. However, there have been times where I have waiting forever, and someone comes after me and then nearly mows me down, or positions themselves in front of me in such a way that assures they'll be able to get on the bus before me. I mean, I'm not going to fight to be the first one on the bus. If it's really all that important to you, by all means...go ahead. I just think this is really rude. Am I being stupid? Is it every person for themselves when it comes to boarding public trasportation? Is there any etiquette? And I know for a fact this is rude and it really freakin' ruffles my feathers when people nearly bowl over old people or mom's with kids to get on the bus. Jeez! The bus can't go anywhere till everyone gets on anyway, so calm down Sparky and let the old people on first! They're the ones that should get the seat you want anyway. I don't know.
Maybe I just make situations that aren't at all complicated way to complicated in my head. It's probably the thing I do best.

UPDATE!!...He's still talking. He wrote some stuff on the board to highlight some of his talking.
Hm. Blogging during class makes my brain feel good though. I don't feel like my mind is slowly eating itself as it often does at this point in the class. Yay for being a bad-ass blogger!!!

So.
What else?
I've decided facebook is the weirdest invention ever when it comes to human relationships. It makes them so unneccessarily complicated. "OMG! He superpoke slapped me! What does this mean?" "Holy crap, did you see what she wrote on my wall??!!" And I am totally guilty of buying into all this insanity. I do it myself. I just think my ultimate downfall if not brought about by my own descent into madness, will be brought about by facebook.
I think facebook could take over the world if it wanted to. I've often thought about deleting my facebook.
And yet...I can't.
I am so addicted.
I wish I could live facebook free.
And yet I devote so much time to thinking up clever quips for my "status", witty things to put on people's walls, and accurate descriptions of my personality, likes, and dislikes to put in my profile.
Are we no more than our facebook profiles?
Are they representations of ourselves?
What do our facebook profiles say about us?????
Now THAT'S a topic for philosophy class.

I should raise my hand and ask.
"Um, excuse me professor. Would Locke include facebook in the State of Nature? Or is facebook outside the State of Nature? What do the Laws of Nature say in regards to facebook? Could facebook be a form of government that protects us from that state of war within our selves for the protection of our own personality as equated with property???!!"
See? I can sound vaguely itelligent if I want to. I'm an actor. I can make even the craziest shit seem plausible.
Seriously.
One time I got this girl to believe I studied sumo wrestling in Japan for three years.
Yeah.
Me.
I told her I studied sumo wrestling and knew how to sumo wrestle and studied with the top sumo wrestlers.
She believed me.
Now, I don't like to lie...but sometimes, it is fun to see just how much crazy I can get people to buy.
One time I got an entire lunch table to believe I spent a summer teaching ballroom dancing at a retirement home.
I think that would be the most awesome job ever. I would have material for YEARS if that were my job. Although, I do get quite a bit material working with kids too.
...I should write a play about teaching old people ball room dancing. Now my wheels are turning.
THIS IS SO MUCH BETTER THAN PHILOSOPHY, GUYS!!!

UPDATE...He's still talking.

I haven't even been in class an hour yet. I've got about...100 minutes to go. The countdown starts now.

I feel like such a bad-ass. I guess, there are more bad-ass things I could be doing.
I could be talking on AIM like the dude kiddy corner from me.
I'm not THAT bad-ass.
It's kinda hard to be bad-ass when if asked, "What are your hobbies?" You would repsond, "Blogging."
Not so bad-ass.
I suppose cutting class completely would have been the most bas-ass thing to do.
But my moral compass would not allow it.
Yet somehow my moral compass has no problem with coming in every week and absolutely spacing the hell out for two and half hours.
I've decided even more than cutting class, the most bad-ass thing to do would be to come for the first half, when he takes attendance and then leave after the break. THAT is the most bad-ass thing to do. And it is also what over half the class does on a weekly basis.
I am in class with a bunch of bas-asses.
I am the lame nimrod who stays the whole time, some weeks so bored I have to concentrate on staying awake to give something to do, some weeks seething about all the better ways I could be spending my time.

My battery is going to die soon, so I should probably wrap this baby up.

95 minutes to go, guys.

Shit.

Blogging didn't even occupy half the class.

Wish me luck.

Think of me and my brains, that will probably be oozing out of my head in the next hour or so.

Adieu!
Adieu!
Adieu!

Weep not for me, but for my brains. Alas, I can feel them starting to melt and ebb away with the battery life of my computer...






UPDATE...He's still talking.