Big Foot Exists. He's in the Suburbs.

The most amazing thing happened to me today.

Ok, first of all it was Baked Potato Soup Day at Panera. A-ma-zing.

So I'm walking to go get my Baked Potato Soup and I pass this shop that sells tacky statues. I mean, classically bad statues...buff men with strategically placed fig leaves, eagles for America, wild horses running with windblown manes, and my personal favorites...the over sized pietas that I wonder where the hell people put. Who wants an huge statue of dead Jesus sittin' in their living room? Who has the space for a huge statue of dead Jesus?
ANYWAY.
So I'm walking to get my soup and I pass this shop and sitting out on display in front of their store are the cream of the crop of their statue stock.
And then I saw a statue I've never seen before...
It was a Bigfoot.
In the signature Bigfoot pose.
My words can't possibly describe how amazing this was.
Here is a picture:



Holy crap. This Bigfoot "sighting" has left me with one, big unanswered question:

Who has this in their yard????

Has anyone passed this thing while walking down the street and said to themselves:
"Oh my God, this is the thing I've been searching for all my life. This giant Bigfoot statue. I must have it. My entire life has led up to this moment. I can call my life complete now because I own a giant Bigfoot statue."

How do you transport something like that?
Do you stick it in the front seat and buckle it in?
Is it awkward if you get pulled over by a cop and have a giant Bigfoot statue in your car?
WHY would you want a giant Bigfoot statue??

You want to know what the best part was? This Bigfoot statue was positioned on top of a statue bridge. The bridge was not in scale with Bigfoot. They didn't really match. It was a horrible mess of tacky.
...And yet somehow I wondered if they could be purchased as a set. "Get your Bigfoot statue! And now, for a limited time only buy the statue bridge with the Bigfoot for HALF PRICE! Because nothing says "Bigfoot" quite like Bigfoot crossing a bridge.