Belly Button Complex

So, as so often happens with friends when you're sitting around shootin' the shit...you end up talking about belly buttons. As was the case today when I was sitting around shootin' the shit with some co-workers. And as you may imagine, it's pretty much inevitable when you're conversating about belly buttons to talk about inies/outies. Sometimes, in life, aside from when you're specifically conversating about belly buttons, people will ask, "Hey, are you an inie or an outie?" I guess as a means to uphold or have an interesting conversation. Usually, it's awkward when this happens.
At any rate, the inie/outie question is always difficult for me to answer.
My belly button is not an inie.
My belly button is not an outie.
My belly button can't make up it's freakin' mind.
My belly button is like a little knob inside a little hole.
And basically has the attitude of an angry teenager, "I'm different and I don't care!!! You can't label me! You're the man! And I'm not going to let the man keep me down (or rather, in or out)!"
I've never had a problem with my belly button as a kid. But as I grew up and started wearing two-piece bathing suits, or felt comfortable enough with friends to show them my belly button when the "inie/outie" question came up...I got a lot of cocked headed looks and replies of, "That's weird."
Now I have a Belly Button Complex.
I mean, I not ashamed of my belly button. I just don't have the belly button confidence that people who are totally inies or outies do. I don't like to flaunt my belly button. That's why I avoid situations where I'd have to show my belly button...
Hence the reason I didn't pursue my dream of being a Britney Spears backup dancer.
Hence the reason I don't belly dance.
Hence the reason I am not the cover of Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Edition.

I don't wear clothes that show off my belly button because of my belly button complex. It's not that I think ultra-ultra low rise jeans coupled with a mid-riff shirt is tacky...it's that I have a belly button complex. I would LOVE to be able to dress with my belly hanging out.
But alas, my belly button is "weird" and needs to stay hidden from society. Kind of like the Hunchback of Notre Dame. So I've named my belly button Quasimodo. It's pretty fitting, I think. It looks kind of freak-ish, but really wouldn't harm a fly.

...Sorry if that was way more info than you ever wanted to know about my belly button.