Amy In The Strange Land of Sleep

So the other night I went to bed pretty early, around 10:15. And I fell asleep pretty quickly.
So, my alarm rings. Or so I think it does. I think it's morning and my alarm is ringing and I'm really sad I have to get out of bed. But I realize in my foggy haze of sleep that in fact my phone is ringing and it's only 11:00 at night.
Ok, look...I cannot be accountable for the things I say and do when I'm half asleep. And I must have been woken out of a really deep sleep because here's what I remember happening:
I realize my phone is ringing and immediately move to silence it. I look at the caller ID and it's a number I don't recognize. It's a 312 area code. So after silencing it I watch it ring for a second or two. I remember feeling somewhat paranoid about the fact I didn't know the number, that I didn't know who was calling. So I answer the phone. And at least from what I remember, I don't remember saying ANYTHING. What I remember is, I just picked up the phone and didn't say a word. I listened for a few seconds, got even MORE paranoid and hung up. So whoever was on the other line was probably subject to some creepy heavy breathing into the reciever. Like I said, I was totally foggy so I could have said something, but I don't remember. All I can say is, if you were the poor soul who called me, I'm really sorry. I'm not creepy or weird when I'm awake, just when I'm half asleep.

I get really weird when I sleep.

Like last night. I had a dream. Well, not really a dream it was more like a nightmare. And I truly do hesitate to share my dreams in my blog because I worry that people will think I'm totally insance and I will have no more friends. But I'm going to share it because it's also kind of funny.

So where I live my room is right next to the living room. There is no overhead light or fan in the living room. Remember this.
So I'm having this dream where I am in my living room and see there's a fan. Which is not all together strange, it was sort of the accepted reality of the dream that there was a fan in the room, but it also was an accepted reality that there was in overhead light in this room. Suddenly, a light fixture on the fan turns on. I find it strange, but think it must just suddenly work.
Ok.
So.
In my dream...I WAKE UP from this dream. I think it was kind of stange and funny because I know there's no overhead light in that room. So I look towards my door and I can see a light glowing from underneath the crack. I walk out into the living room to realize the overhead fixture is on. Unlike in the dream, this freaks me out because I know that the overhead light isn't supposed to work. Scared, I unplug it. It goes out, I go towards the door of my room, but before I can get through the door...the overhead light flicks back on.
I KNOW! SCARY! RIGHT?
So what I remember is I just decide to ingnore it, thinking it must be an electrical short somewhere or something. I get into bed and sleep for a while, then wake up again and my clock says 7:30. My alarm didn't go off or anything...I realize the TV is on in the living room. I got out there and EVERY light in my house is on.
So I go back in my room and for whatever reason, lay down again. I leave my door open a crack and I can hear and see things (shadows, whatever) moving past the door. The TV is really loud, music is playing, it's an all out poltergeist PARTY outside my door.
I remember a conversation I had with my aunt where she told me if you don't want to be contacted or open to things from "the other side" you just have to ask them to go away or say you don't want it. (Which is a conversation we actually did have). Ok, so I decide I'm just going to go out there and tell them to go away.
Ha.
So I walk outside my room and suddenly everything stops. There's silence. I look around and see my front door is open. Standing my the door is a small, gnome like creature wearing a glow in the dark skull mask (Seriously, no joke. Has anyone jumped ship yet on being my friend? I swear to God I'm not crazy). The thing is, even though this little dude is evil or whatever, he's made of plastic. Kind of like a bad halloween decoartion.
So what do I do?
I run to the door and scream (or I wanted to scream it didn't come out as a scream in my dream and I can remember thinking I wanted to scream but I wasn't able to). So I try to scream but just end up saying, "I don't want you!!!!" And then I kick the thing out the door and down the stairs.
So now this gnome/plastic halloween decoration is lying on its side half way down the stairs. "I don't want you." I tell it again.
It's looking at me.
Suddenly, my dog Molly appears at the top of the stairs. I run towards her and tell her to get back inside. She's barking madly. I get her inside, and when I turn around the gnome/halloween decoration is standing at the top of the stairs. I kick it down the stairs again.
Then I woke up.
Like, woke up for real. I was SO freaked out. I looked at my door and expected to see light or things moving. I looked at my clock and expected it to be 7:30. It wasn't. It was 4:30. Which was almost worse because it meant I had to try and go back to sleep.
Seriously it took me like 40 minutes to fall back asleep. I couldn't turn around and not face the door. I kept expecting at any moment to hear the TV click on or see a light go on somewhere.
I managed to fall asleep and woke up again at 7:00 this morning, glad it was morning and that I could get out of bed.

Those are my stories about Strange Amy in the Strange Land of Sleep. Hope nobody thinks I'm crazy.