And the Tony for Gayest Musical Ever Goes To...

HIGH SCHOOL MUSICAL





High School Musical is so gay, I'm surprised The American Family Association hasn't boycotted it yet. But you know what? Because it is so gay and fabulous it is actually a lot of fun. I never thought I would hear myself say that. But I saw it onstage last night and it was...fun. I actually enjoyed it. I mean, it was a Disney show...so it was really cutesy (like makes you throw up in your mouth a little bit cute) and parts of it were really just...I mean...parts I rolled my eyes a little bit at the writing(think the most dramatic moment in Full House, but GAY), but some parts were actually funny. I think I liked it so much because it was so gay. Well, and it was probably made gay-er by the fact that David was sitting next to me, sipping a glass of Merlot as he watched. Gay!
I kinda wished they had a cute little coming-out-of-the-closet-lesbian-couple onstage. But they didn't. Only straight couples allowed.
...and yet still the gay was there.
Ok. So I was thinking about it. And if I were ever to direct High School Musical...I would play the gay to the hills!
-Sharpay? Would be played by a drag queen.
-Ryan? Um. We don't even have to touch that character. Gay and Gay and Gay and Gay-er! I mean, for God's sake...in the stage version I saw last night the boy was wearing a shirt made of sequins at one point!
- Kelsi? Well, based on that nice suit she's wearing in the first video, we probably don't need to touch that character and make her anymore gay than she already is, but we would probably play it up more. I'm thinking she's a suffering lesbian artist, upset because the school wouldn't greenlight her muscial, "Juliet and Rosaline" and instead made her re-write it to be, "Juliet and Romeo."
-Gabriella and Troy? Well, let's just say we change Gabriella's name to Gabe and go the extra mile and make it a story about not only loving someone for who they are not what "clique" there are in but also about GAYS! You ARE breaking free Troy and Gabe. You are breaking free from your respective cliques AND from the closet. BREAK OUT OF HETEROSEXUAL REPRESSION GABE AND TROY! BREAK FREE! SOAR! FLY! In the end, Troy gets the part of Romeo and Gabe plays the role of Juliet in drag. Fabulous.
-Every single costume (expcept for the artistically repressed Lesbian) has GLITTER!
-Every number ends with "jazz hands."
-Every number gets remixed with a techno beat and a Madonna song.

Ok, and in my quest to find High School Musical clips, I came across this MadTV parody which is pretty funny:





...Speaking of musicals...I really, really want to see Spring Awakening. No joke. Who wants to come to New York with me to see it?? Anyone? I've been listening to music lately and the music is so beautiful. Especially the song "Touch Me" which, if you've seen Rocky Horror Picture Show, is basically a more poetic version of "Touch-a Touch-a Touch Me"
Don't believe me?

EXHIBIT A "Touch-a Touch-a Touch Me" Lyric:
"Touch-a touch-a touch-a touch me
I wanna be dirty
Thrill me, chill me, fulfill me
Creature of the night"

EXHIBIT B "Touch Me" Lyric:
"Touch me – just like that
And that – o, yeah – now, that’s heaven
Now, that I like
God, that’s so nice
Now lower down, where the figs lie"

I rest my case.

Seriously though. I really want to see this musical. And since I can't really afford to go to New York, I guess I'll just have to wait until it comes here.
Please come here Spring Awakening. Please? I mean I love High School Musical and all, but...well, I want to see a show about teenage sexuality that isn't put out by Disney. Thanks.
Love,
Amy
Oh man...what if there were a show called "High School Musical's Spring Awakening"???
Hmmm...if you'll excuse me, I think I have to go write the best show ever...