There is Such A Thing As Too Much God Damn Snow

Dear Snow,
I like you.
You are so pretty when you fall in the moonlight.
And I like the way you glisten in the starlight.
And I like it when you coat the tree branches.
You are so so pretty.
But snow?
By now I'm pretty damn sick of you.
Sorry.
It's not your face, it's just...
I'm sick of you.
Right about now you're like that drunken dude at the party. Who is fun at first, but then gets really obnoxious and really drunk. And everyone wants him to leave. And just when you think he's going to either:
a) Leave or
b) Pass out
he starts singing Bon Jovi songs at the top of his lungs.
Right now, you're like that dude, snow.
Right now you are the obnoxious dude at the party who drunkenly slurs the lyrics to "Livin' on a Prayer."
Right now everyone is rolling their eyes at you and contemplating moving the party to Mexico for the sole purpose of getting away from you.
Sorry, snow.
But that's the way it is.
Take your drunken, Bon Jovi singing ass home.
But you should probably call a taxi because you're a god damn mess.
Love,
Amy




QUOTES OF THE DAY

AMY: Hi, may I speak to Mary please?
MARY: This is Mary, who is this calling?
AMY: This is Amy from the box office. I'm calling because we received your fax to exchange tickets and I was just calling to give you some seating options. We don't have your same seats available but I can put you in just five down in the row.
MARY: Yes, that's fine.
AMY: Ok, I'll go ahead and do that. Because you are moving to a more expensive show there will be a slight balance. That balance due is 13 dollars. What credit card would you like to use for that?
MARY: (Very indignant) I'm in the shower! Can I call you back? Or can you call me back in 20 minutes?

Well Jesus, Mary, and Joseph MARY! How the hell was I supposed to know you were in the damn shower. Why didn't you say that when you picked up the phone. Why did you even ANSWER your phone if you were in the shower?!

DAVID: He thinks he's the greatest thing to ever happen to theatre, and actually he's just the gayest thing to ever happen to theatre.

At work. David is wearing a purple dress shirt with pin stripes. Bart the house manager is wearing a blue shirt with pin stripes.
BART: (To David) I like your shirt.
ME: Aw, look you both kinda match!
BART and DAVID Pause and look at each other.
DAVID: No we really don't. Lesbians. They think anything matches.

DAVID: I'll just put a purple "X" on it, so you know. Gay David.

DAVID: Wow. You just had a fight with you and the old lady in your head.

We were in the box office trying to figure out what time it was in Arizona and California. I google it.
ME: It's 2:18 in Arizona.
(Google some more)
ME: It's 1:19 in California.
(More googling...just for fun...)
ME: Oh! Look, it's 11:20 in Hawaii!!
(I look around)
DAVID: Great. Game's over.

(I was doing an impression of a monkey)
DAVID: Well your monkey is like a monkey that likes to play with boobs.
ME: ...well
DAVID: Lesbian Monkey. Your softball team would be the Andersonville Monkeys.

Later...
DAVID: Ew...boobs.
ME: I like boobs.
DAVID: It's a good thing you don't have giant ones because you'd be playing with them all day. You'd never leave the house.

...This is what happens when I work with David all day.

And one from Meghan...
MEGHAN: i'd so go to minneapolis if the sky was purple all the time.