Some Good Conversations I've Had Lately

AT THE STUDIO
(All the following studio conversations happened on the same day).

LITTLE GIRL: Can you reach that flower??
(I reach up and touch a flower we having hanging from the ceiling of the studio)
ME: Yup.
LITTLE GIRL: Can you touch the ceiling?
( I reach up. No dice.)
ME: Nope. I'm too short.
LITTLE GIRL: Will you ever be able to reach it?
ME: Probably not. I'm all grown up so I'm done growing.
LITTLE GIRL: You're done growing??
ME: Yup. I'm all grown up.
LITTLE GIRL: Oh. (Pause) Are you a Dad?
ME: No, I'm not a Dad.

ANOTHER LITTLE GIRL: Are you a boy or a girl?
ME: I'm a b-(oops) girl. I'm a girl.
ANOTHER LITTLE GIRL: (Muy perplexed) You're a girl?!
ME: Yes.
ANOTHER LITTLE GIRL: Then how come you got short hair?
ME: 'Cause I like me hair this way.
ANOTHER LITTLE GIRL: You like your hair that way?
ME: Yes. I think it looks cool short.
(All the little girls at the table look at me like I'm off my rocker)

YET ANOTHER LITTLE GIRL: Are you a boy or a girl?
ME: I'm a girl.
(Little girl elbows the little girl next to her)
YET ANOTHER LITTLE GIRL: See! I told you.
OTHER LITTLE GIRL: How come you where boy clothes if you're a girl.
(Ah. Touche)
ME: These aren't boy clothes.
(Girls look at me like I'm nuts, I gesture to my beat up, old, paint-ridden t-shirt)
ME: This is just a t-shirt. It's my paint shirt.


AT HOME

JIM: Yeah, that girl is such a slut.
ME: Jimmy!
JIM: What?!
ME: That is not a nice word.
JIM: What?! It's true!
ME: I don't care it's not a nice word to use when talking about a woman.
JIM: But it's true! She sleeps with everyone and anyone on campus.
ME: I don't care! It's not a nice word.
JIM: So what should I call her then? A prostitute that you don't have to pay?
ME: Jimmy!!
JIM: What??? Aim. Aim, she's a slut. She sleeps around. It's true.
ME: Well, it's not a good word to use when talking about a woman, number one. Number two, how is it any of your damn business what this girl does in bed and with whom? She doesn't even go to your school!
JIM: It's my business when she does it with everyone. AND she goes to school with Katie [friend of his].
ME: No. It's not. It's not your business. You shouldn't walk around calling her a slut!
JIM: Yes, when she sleeps with everyone. It's everyone's business.
ME: No it's not. And it's not nice.
*During the course of the conversation my brother had been readying himself to go for a run. Which involved applying sunscreen only to his ugly-ass tattoo*
ME: That thing is so ugly.
JIM: You're the only one who doesn't like it.
ME: I'm entitled to my right not to like it. It's ugly.
JIM: (Mocking me) Oh, but Aim ugly isn't a nice word.
ME: No, slut isn't a nice word. Ugly is a legitimate word to describe the hideous monstrosity on your back.
*Jimmy starts to laugh*
JIM: I hate you.