Getting Hit On (Or At The Very Least Checked Out) (Or Not At All) OR The Most Rambling Post There's Been in A While

So David and I went to a bar this weekend. One of our faves-Ts. They have good food and good drinks and it's all around a fun place to hang out. It's where they show The L Word on Sunday nights and is a favorite hang out in the little gay neighborhood I live in.
So we go there at 11:15 on a Saturday night. And the place is crawling with lesbians.
Ok.
I like bars for hanging out with friends, having fun conversation, drinking and eating. Basically, when I go to a bar I'm going for who I'm with not who I could potentially be with, yeah?
To be more precise and succinct: I do not think I could nor would I ever want to pick some one up at a bar. It's just not my style. And if that means I die alone with 40 cats because I refused to pick someone up at a bar, I'm okay with that.
That AND I'm very easily overwhelmed in bar atmospheres unless I'm at a table with friend(s).
a) Because I'm small and feel like I could be swallowed up into a crowd and
b) Because I can't hear well
So upon entering a bar I'm almost immediately self-conscious and guarded until I'm safely on a stool or at a table with a friend.
That AND...
I'm not a person who plays games.
a) I'm WAY too oblivious to play games and
b) I think "game playing" involves a certain amount of 'acting' for some people it's natural...for me, it's not. The only acting I do is on the stage, so...whatever. Have I played games before? Oh yes. Ask me to tell the story it's kind of hilarious but on the other hand is totally NOT me or who I am. But still...kind of funny. It may or may not go down in life as one of the slickest things I've ever done, but in the end is not a moment that will go down as one of my proudest moments either. Some people are meant to be slick. I was meant to be an awkward nerd who pushes up her glasses every five minutes and says random things about ponies
Anyway. I feel like bar-cruising is a like one big mass who-am-I-taking-home-tonight game and just...you know, isn't my style. I mean aside from the fact I'm not a one night stand kinda girl (Not an L Word Lesbian, it takes more to get me to bed than a smoldering look, sorry) I just don't like that whole sort of "hunt" attitude that goes with cruising at a bar. And if you want to play games with me, they'd better be one of the following: Apples to Apples, Scrabble, Uno, Cranium, Phase 10 or Jenga. Sorry. That had better be a pack of cards in your pocket if you're planing to flirt with me because Amy don't play any other type of game. Capeesh?

ANYWAY. Jesus. We are getting off track.

All this too say...I went to this bar with David Saturday night. I was checked out by two women. Like, hardcore stared at. They were probably over the age of 40.
Nice.
Sorry ladies. I am here with my boyfriend.
Move along. Really, 40 year olds? If you were straight, I could be your daughter. So just...stop staring at me please. You're freaking me out, and your hair style is a hot mess.

RANDOM DIVERSION....
Funny moment from that night:
David ponies up to the bar to order us drinks before we find place to sit. He asks me what I want. I say a Blue Moon. He tells the bartender. The bartender says something to David.
DAVID: What does that mean?
Bartender points to a pint glass and then to a bigger mug or double pint glass. David turns back to me.
DAVID: Small or Large?
ME: Small.
DAVID: (turns to the bartender) Large.
Thanks David. I nursed that huge ass things that was literally the size of my head all night long. I was not drunk, but I was certainly very happy at the end of the night.
Can I just say how delicious Blue Moon is at a bar?? It's served at exactly the right temperature. Perfect. So good.

So...ok. So that happened.
And then today.
This...

Ok.
First.
Read this post from October 3, 2007. The last part when I talk about the bookstore is the important part.
Ok?
So after that day I went to the bookstore a bunch of times to maybe try and talk with this girl again. But every time I went she wasn't there. So I sort of forgot about her. And when I did go to the bookstore and she was there I was never sure if she was the one I talked to or not.
ANYWAY.
Today...
I go to this same book store because I have to get a children's book for my Voice and Diction class. As our final project we're working on reading/creating voices and characters for children's stories.
So I peruse the selection of kids books.
Finally deciding on one called Princesses Are Not Quitters.
I know, classy, right?
I wanted to do the one about the gay penguins but there really aren't enough characters in that one.
Nor in the book The Boy Who Cried Fabulous. I wanted to do that one so bad. But it just didn't meet the criteria.
*Sigh*
Oh well...Princesses Are Not Quitters is kind of fabulous too.
So as is my habit I wander around the bookstore for a while, pretty much wanting to buy everything. But I don't really want to spend too much money and I don't have time to read anything...so I just head to the counter with Princesses Are Not Quitters.
Right?
So.
I put my purchase on the counter.
The girl at the register begins to ring up my penetrating purchase Princesses Are Not Quitters.
Now, let me preface this by saying: it had just been "one of those" series of about 24 hours. Not that anything totally bad happened, but just...you know. So I'm sorta tired and mildly cranky. I'm wearing my big skull cap because it's sorta cold and my hair was just...blah. I'd been fighting a headache all day. You know. Just sort of one of those "blah" kinda days.
She looks at me and goes...
GIRL: You're the one who bought Winterson a while ago, right?
ME ON THE INSIDE: WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT?! How the hell do you remember that?! Wasn't that like...October?! My hair was longer than, I'm wearing a hat now...how the HECK-
ME FOR REAL: Um. Yeah. That was me.
GIRL: Which one was it again?
ME: The Passion.
GIRL: How did you like it?
ME: Oh I loved it.
GIRL: It's great isn't it?
ME: Oh yeah. Lighthousekeeping is still my favorite though.
GIRL: Really?
ME: Yeah.
GIRL: She's got a new one out you know.
ME: Oh yeah?
GIRL: Just out this week. It's still in hardcover. It's called The Stone Gods.
ME: Yeah?
(Pause)
ME: Have you read it?
GIRL: Oh yeah! I read it the first night it came out straight through.
ME: Was it good?
GIRL: It was pretty good. It's a little different from her other stuff. It's set in the future and has her common themes-you know love, desire-
ME ON THE INSIDE: Holy crap!?! Am I being hit on over Jeanette Winterson?!?? COULD I BE ANY MORE LESBIAN?!??!?!?!?! AHH! I'm so awkward and stuff.
GIRL: But it also is a commentary on the environment and what we're doing to the earth.
ME: Wow sounds great. I'll have to check that out.
GIRL: And you know about the myth series right?
ME: (Quizzical look)
(Girl comes out from around counter and heads over to a section of books. Picks one up and shows me)
GIRL: They asked a bunch of authors to rewrite myths. And Winterson did one-Weight. It's the story of Atlas. So she wrote this book that will probably be in a series of about 27 I think. All myths written by famous authors...Atwood...
ME: Wow. That's really awesome.
(We sort of start to walk away)
GIRL: Oh, I'm Gertrude*, I don't know if I've ever-
(She puts out her hand)
ME: I'm Amy.
(We shake hands)
ME: Well, I'll definitely be back to check out that Winterson stuff. Thanks for letting me know.
GERTRUDE: Yeah, have a great day.
ME: You too. I'll be back soon to pick something up.
(I walk out)
WHAT?!
WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT?!?!?!?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*Names have been changed to protect the innocent...come on...you never know who reads your blog. I'm a blogger...duh, famous.


Ok.
There I've thought about it and decided there's no way she was hitting on me:
a) I looked like crap (like fell of the lesbian train and hit every branch on the way down)
b) It's her job to sell people stuff

...but she remembered me?
From October?
Should I be weirded out?
Or is this just good customer service?
WHAT?!

I have decided I am the Queen of Random. If you would like to come live me in my magical random kingdom, please do. There will be unicorns. Although, since this is the kingdom of Random, their horns will also shoot laser beams.





So yesterday was Easter.
My brother came over and I cooked dinner for us and then we watched Borat.
I have the best brother ever.
He brought me a chocolate bunny and said, "Everyone should have chocolate on Easter."
Aw. Brother. I love you.

QUOTE OF THE DAY

MEGHAN: You and your brother are the cutest brother-sister couple ever.