The Lady Garden Legacies

So I recently saw a show I probably should have seen a long time ago...

The Vagina Monologues.

I mean as a theatre artist, woman, feminist and lesbian it is slightly ridiculous that it took me this long to see it.

I guess I was sort of avoiding it.

There.
I said it.

I read The Beaver Chronicles (for the rest of the post, I will refer to The Pussy Stories by as many different names/euphemisms as I can possibly think of) quite a while ago and I wasn't impressed.
And frankly after seeing it in performance I'm still not all that impressed.

I won't say where or when I saw this production of The Muff Myths because it doesn't really matter and it's that time of year where I really could have seen it anywhere.

Basically, I don't really understand what Eve Ensler was trying to accomplish with The Mermaid Purse Epics. I don't understand what they're supposed to "do."
Congratulations. You got a bunch of women to talk about their cooters and asked them questions like, "What would your vagina wear?" and "What would your vagina say?"
Great.
So what?
Congratulations you wrote a monologue where a woman has an orgasm onstage.
So what?
You talked about vaginas onstage.
You chanted the word "cunt."
Great.
So what?
So your vagina is angry.
Sorry.
But only you can make your vagina un-angry.
Not me.
So stop yelling at me about your angry vagina.
My vagina doesn't want to hear it.
Frankly, my vag is cool just chillin' out between my legs and doesn't really think it's a big deal you just said "vagina" like a bajillion times onstage, outloud.
When you make that kind of art for the sake of putting it onstage,
For the sake of saying, "We're going to talk about vaginas and clits no matter WHAT you think and you can't do ANYTHING about it. And we don't CARE if you DON'T like it. You have to DEAL with it. DEAL WITH MY VAGINA!"
You point is lost.
And I happen to think that type of theatre lacks respect for the audience, creativity and imagination-and thus, for me, fails.
Sorry if The Poochie Lamentations are your favorite thing ever.

I will say this:
The Bearded Clam Speeches DO raise money for good causes.
But the show sucks.
And is dumb.
Say something meaningful with your art! Running around screaming, "cunt" doesn't count. I mean if we want to get all art-istial I realize running around screaming "cunt" by it's very nature is in fact saying something, maybe even making a statement...
It just lacks creativity.
And I think fails to be moving.
And when you're trying to make a point and get people on your side...you sort of have to be moving.
It isn't enough to scare them,
It isn't enough to make the angry or sad.
You have to touch something inside of them (keep the dirty comments to yourselves kids)
And you have to help them see something of themselves in the cause you're fighting for.
...but that's just my lame opinion. And, I guess, that's the way I'm likley to be won over. Some people might like to be scares shitless or angry...but in the end, I only think that hurts the cause and feeds into what makes it a cause in the first place.
So there.
Don't you guys love it when I rant?

By the way,can I say how much I hate the word, "cunt"?
I do.
I think it's ugly.
Not that I'm opposed to it because it's a swear...
For me, as a word for vagina, it lacks the feeling of love that I'd hope to find in a word for vagina, and thus...I hate it.
I don't think it's sexy or beautiful
I think it's an ugly.
There's no love in the word cunt.
And I will totally admit to using the word "fuck" from time to time. I'm not a clean-mouthed saint. Sometimes, swear words are just called for in my life.
But not that word.
Ick.



QUOTES OF THE DAY

JIM: And I'm like, "Grandpa, this isn't exactly a smart business choice for me."

(Having a conversation with my brother about Vienna)
JIM: Vietnam??
ME: Vi-en-na.
(Pause)
JIM: So that's in Italy, right?

So I worked with Audra in the box office today. We got Jimmy John's for lunch. We ordered pickles...
(Audra begins to poke her pickle half-way menacingly)
AUDRA: (In high pitched scratchy voice) Oo! I'm so excited about you!

(I am deep in thought)
AUDRA: What's going on with you Amy Cornelius?
ME: Oh, I'm just thinking about being a pirate.
(Audra begins to crack up)
ME: Well I was!
AUDRA: Oh, I don't doubt it sweetie.

(Meghan and I were talking over AIM, I was listening to "A Dream Is A Wish Your Heart Makes" and start "singing" it to her. She tells me how much she loves that song. And how she used to run around singing it when she was little.)
MEGHAN: except i didn't understand all the words so i'd sing, "no matter how your heart is bleeding if you keep on beneathing the dream that you wish will come true."
...so priceless.