My Existence In Life Is AFFIRMED!

I got this comment today:
"From: Your #1 Fan
time for a new blog - it's been too many days!"

I try and blog as often as possible. I want to make sure you all are getting the quality blog you have come to love and respect from "Confusing Ideas Since 1986." I don't take blogging lightly. As a blogger I have a responsibility to you, the blog-reader. I just want to make sure you are getting the best blog possible. David told me the other day that when it's been a while since I've posted it's like turning on your favorite TV show and having it be a rerun. First of all, I am flattered by this. BUT I also want to make sure my blog is not going to spiral into crap like so many TV shows that start off great. This blogger refuses to let that happen. Rest assured that while I might not blog as often as you may like, the blog you are getting it 100% Confusing Ideas Since 1986 certified.
Ok.
Now that's out of the way.
We can get to the blogging.

...This blog is actually very serious today guys.
I have reached a very important point in my life. In the next few weeks, I will be playing the role I've been destined for since the date of my birth. On December 1st, I, Amy, will be an Elf for Santa Claus.
It was pretty much inevitable and only a matter of time.
I knew from a very small age, that at least once in my life I would dress up like an Elf and help wrangle kids on and off the lap of Santa.
I'll be doing this as part of the downtown Christmas festivities that take place near where I work.
I am so excited.
I'm already developing a persona in my mind.
I think my Elf name is going to be Fenwick. You may recall that this was the name of my bunny when I was young. What you may not know, is that Fenwick-the-bunny had a namesake before him. When I was in preschool, my teacher picked me as her special helper to make Christmas projects. She called me "Fenwick" her Christmas helper Elf. So besides being the name of my bunny, it seems only fitting that I should keep this Elf name, as it has been with me, since...well...preschool.
I'm actually really excited for this guys. Mostly, because I really like kids and I love talking to them. And I get to do that at my other job as an art teacher's assistant but NOW I get to do it as an ELF!!
Ok, so I fully understand that this could end up being one of the worst, most embarrassing moments in my life (well, probably not because I'm not easily embarrassed or convinced situations are "the worst") BUT at the very least, I'm sure it will spawn an AWESOME blog post.
I
Am
So
Excited
To
Be
An
Elf!!
Elf also happens to be one of my favorite movies. It consistently cracks me up no matter how many times I watch it.
This is going to be me (except not as tall):

(Also, I Zooey Deschanel is SUPER cute, and Will Ferrell falls in love with her in the movie, so maybe when I am an Elf I will fall in love with another, super cute Elf).
...I am going to be an Elf...
My life suddenly makes so much sense. My meaning seems so clear. I HAVE A REASON TO EXIST!!!!! I AM AN ELF!!!!
I wonder if I get to make my own costume? Oooo...this is so exciting!!



So in other news...
I just bought some boots.
They're pretty much big old lesbian boots. I got 'em out of the boys section.
Ok, guys...look...
I tried really hard to find a pair I liked out of the women's section. I really did. I even went so far as to try on a pair of Ugg-looking boots. But I put them on and looked down and my feet and thought, "I cannot take myself seriously in these things. They look stupid on me. I look stupid in them. I need to go get the black, lace-ups from the boys section."
And I did.
And I like them.
I don't plan on wearing them as a fashion statement, but they will be necessary when the snow starts to fall since I do walk to and from the train station (I can't make it just in gym shoes like I did last year)

QUOTES OF THE DAY
CARLY: You know what I don't like about this low price Internet hotel reservation sites? They don't tell you where you're staying until you've made your reservation and you get to the end...
DAVID: Really? That's weird...So it could be like...Congratulations you're staying in Grandma Connie's spare bedroom?

AUDRA: Hi, Amy...so I have a question...you know how when they do the downtown Christmas thing, they have a Santa Claus and reindeer and the kids can take pictures on Santa's lap?
ME: You want me to be an Elf?
AUDRA: (Laughs) Yeah. You don't have to if you don't want to. But I was going to do it, but I don't like kids and I know you do...

CARLY: Can you get a Camo jumpsuit to go with your new boots? And then you'll walk to the train and come out of nowhere and people will be like...oh my god! Where did she come from? Because you're wearing camo. I really think you should get a camo jumpsuit.
I AM GOING TO BE AN ELF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!