Hey...I Don't Want To Do Philosophy

So, I have this homework I have to do for philosophy and decided it would much better if I blogged for a while instead. Also, I am eating a tuna sandwich. And I never heard of anyone having great philosophical moments while consuming a tuna sandwich. But I'm pretty sure it means y'all are in for a good blog.
So today when I left the box office after closing I was encountered by a sobbing child in the lobby. She was probably three or four and standing next to her was her two year old-ish brother who looked quite nonchalant about the situation. She was crying for her mother. Her mother was nowhere in site. (The kids were standing near an elevator.) So, I go up to the girl, well, I get on my knees and say...
ME: What's wrong?
GIRL: I can't find my Mommy!!!! (Tears are streaming out of her eyes)
ME: Do you know where she went?
GIRL: NooooooOOOooooOOOoooooo
ME: Did she go in the elevator?
(Girl shakes her head "yes")
ME: Oh, then I'm sure she'll be right back down. Do you want me to stay here with you until she comes?
(Girl shakes her head "yes")
ME: I'm Amy. I work over there in the box office. What's your name?
GIRL: I'm Kaylee. And that's Jaydee (She points to her brother who seems totally unconcerned that his mother is missing and has instead taken to looking at his reflection in the elevator doors. I probably would too at that age...they're shiny.)
ME: Hi Kaylee. Hi Jaydee. So do you take classes here?
GIRL: No. My brother does.
ME: What kind of classes?
GIRL: Piano.
ME: Piano? That's pretty cool. Does he play the piano well?
(Ok...so this goes on for a little while, I'm talking to the girl, she's talking to me...and all the sudden the elevator door opens and this mom comes storming out of the elevator, pushing a stroller, and looks straight at the kids and says...)
MOM: I AM NOT HAPPY WITH EITHER OF YOU RIGHT NOW!!!! (I don't know what exactly happened, but I'm thinking the mom must have gone up in the elevator, or the kids must have come down unbeknownst to either where the other went. Still though, I was talking to the kids a good three minutes before the mom finally came down. At any rate, I took it as my cue to leave. So I get up to go and without looking at me she goes...)
MOM: Thanks. (To kids) I AM SO NOT HAPPY WITH YOU NOW!!! (Yes, she really used the word "so" in that sentence)
(Jaydee points to himself)
MOM: No! I'm not happy with you either! I am not happy with you right now!!!!
(I didn't hear the rest, I left)
Ok...you know...I'm not even sure I can comment on this. But...I'm pretty sure yelling at your kids, "I'm not happy with you right now!!" isn't all that effective. I am mean...damn. Your littler girl was just in tears, worried out of her mind. Granted for only three minutes, but how about giving her a damn hug, or saying you're glad they're ok first?? THEN you whip out the "I was so worried about you, don't ever do that again."
What do I know, though? I'm not a parent. But I do know if my kid was lost...even for three minutes, and when I found him/her and it was apparent they'd been sobbing...The first thing I'd do, would be to pick up that kid and squeeze 'em tight. Then I would guilt the shit out of them. "I was so so worried. I'm so glad you're ok. Don't ever scare Mommy like that again, ok?"
Stupid mom.

Anyway...
I'm done with my tuna sandwich. Don't worry. I want to put philosophy off a little longer so I'm not done blogging yet. So I started drinking skim milk instead of 2%.
I just thought you all should know.
I'm sad because I ran out of NesQuik. I think milk is lonely without chocolate. But it is true that if things were left up to me, I'd add chocolate to everything. Instead of mayo...I would use chocolate syrup for my tuna sandwiches.
...That's the nastiest thing I've ever heard of. It might be worth it just to try so one day when I'm real old I could tell children, "I was a crazy hooligan back in the day. One time I ate a tuna sandwich with chocolate syrup instead of mayo!!"
I'm going to best and craziest old person ever.

...So I have class tomorrow. Here's what I don't like about school....they set the thermostat in all the buildings to "Zimbabwe" and you know that's true, because I get cold so easily and usually like to be toasty warm. I like to be warm...but I don't like to be sweating while learning about photosynthesis. It's bad enough you're making me learn about photosynthesis. Now you're going to make me sweat through it? You guys are jerks.

...So I didn't have any Doritos to eat with my sandwich. This makes me sad. It's probably for the best because chips, especially ones full of preservatives and chemical agents (what a fun word combination) are bad for you. I mean, what good does drinking skim milk do if you're going to eat a handful of chips with artificial powdered "cheese" on them?

Damn.
I really need to go do this philosophy. If anyone is an expert on Mill, Locke, or Marx and wants to write an essay for me by tomorrow...I would reward you handsomely. *


*Reward will probably be a tuna sandwich made with chocolate syrup.