Installment Number Tres

Here is the THIRD installment of "Delivering Supplies to Union Soldiers" or "When 10 Year Old Amy Fancied Herself An Important Writer". In case you missed previous installments...
Find the first HERE
And the Second HERE

I'll be making my commentary in italics. I know I said this one would be a dramatic video reading, but I'm working on possible getting some guest celebrities to do some readings so this one will be plain old text:

If you recall when last we left our hereos Jack and Billy they were discussing the all too real possiblity that mayhaps they're father has died in the war.

"The moon slowly came out and the two brothers soon decided to turn in. In the remaining light, Billy unhitched Big Red and tied him to a tree. He made sure the rope was long enough so he could walk around a bit. Billy stored the harness in the corner where Jack had been sitting earlier. That left about one fourth of the wagon for sleeping...not much room. Dear God, these poor poor boys! Only one fourth of a wagon for sleeping?? How will they ever make it?? Meanwhile Jack started a fire and took out a pot to cook supper.
Jack got water from a nearby creek and put it in the pot to boil. He added some fish and spices. Where the hell did they get these fish and spices?? Aren't spices a little much on a wartime supply run? Shouldn't they be boiling and eating their shoes or something? While it cooked both put out their blankets. Billy marked off where they had stopped.
"Did five miles today." Billy said. "Let's go to bed I am as tired as the old hound dog that sits on the constables porch." Oh yes. I am for real. 10 year old Amy does not mess around with her similes, and apparently...neither does Billy. But Jack had already fallen fast asleep.
"Darn fool forgot to say his prayers." Billy sputtered a giggle. "His brains are smaller than the salt that ma puts on potatoes." Ohhh BUUUURRRN. Next time you need a top notch insult. Compare someone's brains to salt that goes on potatoes. You will send your opponent reeling in shame. Before he knew it he drifted off to sleep.
The next morning they awoke to a starting sight. A colony of ant feasting on their food.
"Dag namin'." Billy said frustrated.
"Now what?" Jack asked with a hint of whining in his voice. Billy sat for a moment deep in though.
"Ahh, I know, Ma gave me a book of plants that tell which are edible and which are not edible." Billy said smartly. Right 10 year old Amy, you're already learning how to employ that magical trick as a writer or pulling things straight out of your ass. 'Oh no, I've backed my characters into a corner! Ants ate their food! How do I get them out of this mess?! Ahh...I know...a random book about edible plants. Huzzah. Jack and Billy are saved. On with the narrative!' "I'll just go and get it and we can gather plants that we can eat. We'll have to stay close to the cave though. WHAT FRIGGIN' CAVE?!? He went on. "The Unions will just have to wait one more day, we got five miles done yesterday and with tomorrow bein' Sunday and all I spect' we can get there on Monday." He finally finished. Well, phew.
So the two were off. Forced to use their sweaters as a bag to hold all their gatherings. OHHHH the HUMANITY!!! The were FORCED to use their SWEATERS as BAGS for their GATHERINGS?!? Is their no end to the trials and tribulations of this two young whipper-snappers? By the end of the day their sweaters were stained with berry juice, wet from the dew that had collected on the plants and just plain dirty. Dear God, say it isn't so!! Billy and Jack were dead out tired by the time they got back to the cave. WHAT FRIGGIN' CAVE?? The dark blanket of night had just fallen upon the mountain valley WHAT FRIGGIN' MOUNTAIN VALLEY?? DID I MISS SOMETHING?? and the moon hung high in the sky.
"Those there blankets look like a welcome mat to deamland." Said Jack with a yawn. Billy had already crawled under his blanket. The two were out like a light. Was electricity invented yet? Pretty sure it'd be more accurate to say something like: The two were snuffed out like an oil lamp...or something...

Here we will end for today. Stay tuned for installment four!