Darth Vader's Real

The results post is COMING for the NAME THAT BIKE contest. I know I've said that like 100 times. But I'm trying something new this time around. Hopefully it will be spectacular. (But you may not want to hold your breath). It will be posted if not tomorrow, certainly by Wednesday. Get excited.

In the meantime please enjoy...


QUOTES OF THE DAY

At the studio talking with kids.

This happened. Yes. Exactly like this:
EMMA: I had a princess on my birthday cake.
ME: Which princess?
GRACIE (her twin sister): It was just a princess.
ME: So it wasn't Cinderella or something?
EMMA: No, just a princess.
ME: Got it.
GRACIE: And there was a frog next to her!
ME: A frog?!?! Was it a prince????
EMMA: (As if this was the craziest thing she'd ever heard) Nooooo. It was a frog!
ME: But sometimes...frogs can be princes.
GRACIE: Uh-uh.
ME: Uh-huh. Have you ever heard the story about the princess who kisses the frog and it magically turns into a prince??
(Both girls shake their heads no)
ME: Well it's true. I bet that frog was a prince!
MRS. YUEILL: Was the frog wearing a crown? Sometimes thats a clue.
EMMA: Nooooo.
ME: I think it was a prince anyway.
MRS. YUEILL: It happens. Frogs can be princes.
(Both girls look at me and Mrs. Yueill like we're nuts)
EMMA: Darth Vader's real you know.
(I lost it)
EMMA: He is! My parent's saw him and took a picture with him.
I love children and their utter randomness. It makes my heart so so happy.


Later. We are talking about pets. I got an earful about Kaitlyn's guinea pig. And her bird. And her bird that died. And her fish. And then...
KAITLYN: Sometimes my dog makes accidents and then eats them.
I know I shouldn't have but I cracked the heck up.
KAITLYN: It's bad.
ME: Yeah that's bad.

At no point yet had I used any funny voices or "accents" with this particular group of kids. Ben comes up to me so I can help him sponge stars on his little Fourth of July box.
ME: Ok, Ben where should be put this star?
BEN: You talk weird.
ME: How do I talk weird?
BEN: You just do.
ME: Why do you think that? I don't think I talk weird.
*Shrugs*


I put on my helmet to leave work at the Studio.
MRS. YUEILL: Look Kristen, there it is. (She points to my helmet)
ME: Did you tell Kristen about my helmet?
(Kristen works at the studio but has been gone for a while on vacation)
MRS. YUEILL: Yes.
ME: ...were you making fun of me??
MRS. YUEILL: No. Well...yes. Well...I just told her it was very large. And dark colored.


I am at home. In the other room. When suddenly I hear from the living room...
JIMMY: Molly!!!!!...God dammit.
(Pause)
(Pause)
ME: What happened??
JIMMY: God dammit. Molly fucking licked my burger!!
I laughed for no less than five minutes.
I come into the room a few moments later to find he has cut off the portion of the burger she licked. Molly is also at his feet, ear perked, sitting upright waiting for him to drop something.