The Great American Lesbian Coffee Shop Stake Out In The Suburbs: Phase Duex

Ok. This is Amy, bloggin' LIVE at the lesbian coffee house in the suburbs. Well, it's actually not a lesbian coffee house for real. It's just a place I saw another lesbian once and a place I've been told the lesbos frequent. Now that I've gathered the info I need about this coffee shop (ie that there was another lesbian here one night besides me)...now enters phase duex of the operation.

Now right now, you might be asking yourself: "Amy, what is phase duex of the operation?"

...or maybe you're asking yourself: "Amy, what is 'the operation'?"

Ok, well "the operation" is to find and meet a lesbian (other than myself) in the suburbs. Until this time I've been convinced I was the only one. HOWEVER, during a stake out of a coffee shop where alleged lesbians hang out-

OH MY GOD THEY JUST WALKED IN THE DOOR.
TWO OF THEM.
THE ONE I SAW THE LAST TIME I WAS HERE.
THE OTHER IS...NOT AS CUTE.
BUT OH MY GOD....TWO LESBIANS!!!

Mother of Mercy this place is a hotbed of lesbian activity. (Three whole lesbians in one coffee shop in the suburbs at ONE TIME. I think the world has to blow up now or something). I didn't even get a chance to finish my lame intro to this post before waiting for the lesbos to show up...
Ok.
Ok.
Be cool, Amy.
Be cool.
You didn't wear your cute black t-shirt that makes you look a little bit like Danny Zuko for nothing....
Ok...
Hopefully she will look this way and you can woo her with your dashing good smile.

Ok, she's still talking to the barista so I'm going to continue with what I was saying as if nothing out of the ordinary is going on...

HOLY CRAP! LESBIANS!

...regaining my composure and...

Ok, so clearly lesbians like this coffee shop. ANYWAY. Phase duex of the operation is to actually somehow...talk...to one of the lesbians that hang out here.
This is the tricky part.
This is tricky because, shocking as it may be...I am lame. This may be shocking to you because this blog is so awesome and you might think a blog so awesome has an equally awesome blogger. But alas. Sometimes enigmas exist. Here is one such case...
Awesome blog.
Lame blogger.

OK!
SO!
UPDATE.
I just heard cute Lez Magoo (the one I saw last time) say to the barista that she got her belly button pierced when she was 20. Which must mean she is over 20, which is good. Because last time I thought she could be 21+ or 12.
She's not 12.
Score.

Fuck.
They left.
And I didn't even get a chance to smile at them.
God dammit.

Next time the come in, I'm just going to stand up and say: "Hey! Lez Magoo! I'm a Lez Magoo Too! And it sucks to a Lez Magoo in the suburbs. Let's be friends."

I don't know why I capitalize "Lez Magoo" like it’s a proper noun or something. Well, shit, it doesn't really exist as a word anyway, so why can't it be a proper noun?

...Ok point of order on The Great American Lesbian Coffee Shop Stake Out...if I'm going to be hanging out here more often (Which I am...duh)...I'm going to need to find something healthier to drink. 'Cause I'm going to turn into a huge fat ass with diabetes if I keep drinking these frozen mocha things with half a can of whipped cream on them.

Oo! Another point of order on The Great American Lesbian Coffee Shop Stake Out...maybe if we get enough Lez Magoos to come here, we can make it like Cheers. And everyone will know our names and always be glad we came.

Oo! Another point of order on The Great American Lesbian Coffee Shop Stake Out...maybe we could get a sitcom and this place could be our "place" like The Central Perk on friends.

Ooooo...now I'm excited. Sitcom! Sitcom! Sitcom! And every episode will either begin or end with me bloggin'...blllllllllllooooooog. Blog is actually a really fun/weird word. I wonder where it came from. Maybe tomorrow or the next day I will post a post on the history of the word blog.

You want to know something weird that might freak out your mind a little bit? Whenever I do spell check on this website and use the word "blog" in the blog. Or the word "blogging" Or the word "blogger" is always tells me that it's not spelled right or not a real word. I could see the word "blog" not being in Webster's dictionary. But, HELLO, this site is called blogspot. I think you know the word "blog" and it's many variations exist.

Ew. The whipped cream in my drink is coagulating.

Shit I have to pee. I'm going to damage my bladder and hold it.

I wonder if more lesbians will come tonight. I hope so. They one was cute, but not really my type. And the other one was sorta cute. But not really my type either.
...If a lesbian walked in the door right now that looked like Kate Winslet...that would be really awesome.
Extra points if she had a British accent.
...Or if a lesbian walked in the door that a Mediterranean-y look...that would be really awesome.
Extra points for some sort of Mediterranean accent.

Um. Ok. I guess I'm going to wrap up this post. I will certainly report back with any more...uh...reports.

As promised what follows is the quote of the day and the word of the day (today there will be TWO words of the day):

QUOTE OF THE DAY
Ok, so I was at work today. The kids were painting plaster fish. The kids were part of a camp. One of the camp consulars says the following:
CONSULAR: So, can the kids, like...take this home today or something?
ME: Yeah, we just have to spray them with a sealer.
CONSULAR: Oh...cause I thought...like sometimes...don't you have to fire these sorts of things in kennels?

Which leads me to...

WORDS OF THE DAY
KENNEL: 1. a house or shelter for a dog or a cat. 2.Often, kennels. an establishment where dogs or cats are bred, raised, trained, or boarded.

KILN: a furnace or oven for burning, baking, or drying something, esp. one for firing pottery, calcining limestone, or baking bricks.

...and no we don't have to fire plaster in a kiln thats already been fired in a kiln, 'cause thats how they make molded plaster in the first place.




...Oh Crap. I sat in an area of the shop with big comfy chairs and now a bunch of high schoolers came and took over the area. HELLO! Can't you jerks see I'm trying to attract the same sex here? I don't want them thinking I hang out with you guys. Please! Leave all the comfy chairs around me open for all the potential lesbians who want to date me.

Thanks.

Love,
Amy