Don't Apologize, Just Admit to Being an Asshole

So...politics.

Love it.

So...David Vitter. Knockin' boots with the services of the D.C. Madam.

A.K.A...Prostitutes. Whores. Ladies of the Night. Red-Shoed Vixens. Money-For-Sex-ers.

So this was the dude that was calling for Clinton's impeachment. David Vitter's wife is quoted as saying she would not be as forgiving as Hilary Clinton if her husband were unfaithful, making it sound like Hillary Clinton was some sort of spineless politician's wife.

My, my, my how the tides have turned.

There was a little press conference where Vitter "apologized" and were his wife "forgave" him.

This shit cracks me up.

I am SICK of politicians apologizing. I just want them to stand up and say, "Look, I'm an asshole. We're all assholes at some point in our lives. I'm an asshole now. I know I look like a hypocrite now. And I am. I'm an asshole."

Why do they apologize? It seems so insincere when they do. Just be honest. I would have loved if David Vitter had said:

"Look, let me level with you. I'm a dude. I'm a dude with needs. Sometimes...I can't keep it in my pants. We've all had a moment sometime in our life where we just can't keep it in our pants. Do I regret sleeping with a ho? Sure. I've been itchy ever since. And look, I realize I made some nasty comments about Clinton and now I'm the one in that situation but the truth is I was jealous of Clinton. Here he is gettin' B.J.s from an intern and I'm forced to PAY for prostitutes. You're damn right I wanted to hang him out to dry. Who the hell does he think he is committing marital indiscretions for FREE where I have to spend my hard earned money for my not-my-wife-ass. Do I feel bad about how this has effected my wife? Yeah, I do. She won't let me bang her anymore. Look, I'm an asshole. I am. I fully admit it. We're all really assholes, I'm not going to put myself on some sort of pedestal of sorrow just to keep votes. I'm an asshole. All people are assholes. Politicians are just the biggest assholes because they spend most of their career trying to pretend they're not assholes. After all, even though everyone is an asshole, would you really want an asshole running your country? So you can see why we have to at least keep up this face of being an non-asshole. But I'm sick of pretending to be something I'm not. I'm going to come out and just say it, I'm an asshole. You voted for an asshole. I make mistakes like an asshole. I am sorry for the mistakes I've made, but I'm not going to pretend like I'm some damaged, wayward individual because I have made mistakes. I'm man enough to admit I've made mistakes because I'm a giant douche bag. Thanks for coming to this press conference. In conclusion, I will probably still continue to be an asshole."

Ok, and in a somewhat serious and related tangent:
IT MAKES ME SO ANGRY THAT THESE GODDAMN REPUBLICANS PREACH FAMILY VALUES AND UPHOLDING THE SANCTITY OF MARRIAGE AND THEN CHEAT ON THEIR WIVES WITH PROSTITUTES.
Seriously guys, fuck you. You think I don't deserve the right to marry the woman I love?! I think YOU don't deserve the right to be married, jerk.