The RNC: A Lesson In Self-Absorption. Let's Make Quesadillas!

Did you miss the RNC?

Much to my dismay...I did not.

...If you happen to be a lucky soul who did not witness the madness, let me fill you in on what you missed:

Several days of unabashed and pure self-absorption.

Hardly any understanding and/or recognition of what the American people are currently going through right now in light of the tanking economy. Hardly any plans laid out for the future. Hardly anything of what they should have said.

We heard a lot about the brilliant and upstanding citizens that Palin and McCain are. On one night alone (Thursday) the Republicans managed to invoke McCain's time as a POW, foreign black people, foreign children with cleft palates and Mother Teresa.

Seriously.

John McCain spent years as a POW in the Vietnam war. I know it was horrific. I know he was tortured. I can imagine the horrible things that must do to a person (like, apparently, it turns them into a Republican) (what? did I just say that?) (sorry). I don't think McCain is a bad guy. I do respect him and the sacrifices he made. Really, I do.

Cindy McCain...I think it's great that during your speech you called a black woman your hero and said black woman stood up and waved to everyone. This is great. Too bad she was the only black person at the convention.

Cindy and John McCain...I am so glad you adopted a foreign child with a cleft palate from the orphanage associated with Mother Teresa and welcomed her into your white, rich-ass family. But deep down you know she secretly wishes Madonna and/or Brangelina had picked her and not you, right? (Man, I am MEAN today)

All of these things I do honestly respect. I think its great when people are self-less. The world needs more of it. I think its very powerful to find inspiration in people and places you didn't expect. I think when you go through a harrowing life experience it changes who you are deeply, either for the better or worse and maybe a little bit of both. All these things are important and powerful in their way. Yes. I recognize that and celebrate it.
Here's the thing...it's got no place at a political convention. All the above things are so deeply personally that, to pretty much vomit up on the American people is just wrong. I almost felt a little dirty after watching the RNC. Like, is this why we adopt children from foreign countries with cleft palates?? So we can stick them in front of a camera during a political convention to prove WHAT ABSOLUTELY FABULOUS PEOPLE THE MCCAINS ARE??? Is this why we go to foreign countries to learn about something and someone OTHER THAN OURSELVES?? To bring a black delegate from that country and call her our hero at a political convention?? PUH-LEASE. That's really freakin' disgusting. I know, I know, before everyone gets mad at me that wasn't necessarily the McCains' intention but BOY HOWDY did it sure read that way to me. It makes me feel a little gross inside. But that just might by my horrible liberal bias talking. Republicans? BE REAL for five seconds and it might actually get you somewhere. Be a freakin' person. Too many of you have forgotten what it means to be a person, to be human and thus you will never ever be fit to lead this country, or any country for that matter.
...and please, don't even get me started on Sarah Palin...

*Calming breath of peace*

And it's at time like these when there's really only one thing you can do...

MAKE QUESADILLAS!!!!




STEP 1: GATHER YOUR INGREDIENTS. It can be as simple or as complicated as you like! But remember: your quesadilla is a reflection of you. Make sure it says the right things! What does my quesadilla say about me (see answer below)



ANS: My quesedilla says that I am exponentially more fresh because I use cilantro. And I'm SPICY!!!! CALIENTE!! (Yeah, I know...I don't buy it either). (What did I do with those "I love ponies" tomatillas?).


STEP 2: WASH YOUR INGREDIENTS BECAUSE SALMONELLA IS BAD




STEP 3: Get a really big knife.


Cooking: the one time when it is okay to stab things. And watching the RNC may make you want to stab things.


STEP 4: Chop those vegetables. Chop 'em good. When you're done a-choppin', put em all in a bowl and mix em up. It looks like this:

Mmmmmm


STEP 5: SEASONS OF...SEASON!!!



Also, I forgot to do it in the video, but I later added a little bit of fresh squeezed lime. Fab!


STEP 6 : MAKE YOUR 'DILLA
I put beans on mine because my approval rating of beans is probably triple the approval rating of President Bush.
They're just refried beans from a can I slathered on one half of the 'dilla and put my veggie fixins and cheese on the other half...


NOTE: Feel free to use REAL Mexican cheese and not...Sargento Sharp Cheddar.


STEP 7: FOLD THAT 'DILLA IN HALF AND COOK THAT 'DILLA




STEP 8: FLIP THAT 'DILLA TO BROWN THE OTHER SIDE



Why YES! That IS photographic evidence of my well-done flip!


STEP 9 : BE THE SPATULA QUEEN and/or KING




STEP 10: SERVE UP THAT 'DILLA MMMMMM

STEP 11: EAT THAT 'DILLA