One Woman Show Pictures

So here are some picture from my little one woman show I did. Some of them are better than others.
The performance went really well. I could not have been more excited and happy with how it turned out and I'm really looking forward to working on it more in the future. Yay!

Anyway. Here's the little blurb I wrote for the program in case you care to read:

TITLE: Preacher’s Daughter

Angelia R. Wilson is currently a lecturer at the University of Manchester in England. However, she grew up in Texas as a preacher’s daughter. Under the strict southern ideals of the Bible Belt, Angelia came of age and came out as a lesbian. She has since authored and researched much on queer politics, with special attention to her home in the South. The basis for this performance comes from Angelia’s book, Below the Belt. For this book, Angelia traveled all around the south interviewing different people to understand the intersection of religion and sexuality in Bible Belt. This performance presents a small portion of her interviews and discoveries.

QUESTION: What is the relationship between Christianity and homosexuality in the South? What are the stereotypes? What are the complexities?

I got to wear a cowboy hat.
I got to have an attitude.
I got to speak with a Texas accent.


PICTURES!!! AWAAAAAAAAAY...


Do I look all right?


Good morning!


For gay men we've got...'Girly' 'Skinny little things' 'squirrelly looking with long hair on top, pleated pants and a funny voice'


She got to her problem. She had fallen in love...with a woman.


There are still those who struggle very deeply with who they are.


Wasn't easy to tell my parents I was gay.

So...It Turns Out...

It's NOT a good idea to put your jump drive through the wash...

Me and my pockets. We get into so much trouble.

My entire (well, almost entire) second act of my screenplay was on that jump drive. And there was more on it than I had saved to my computer. Yeah. To say I my heart freaked a bit is an understatement. THANKFULLY I had emailed it to myself so I could print it at school, so...phew. I am however now down a jump drive.


New Play Fest went pretty well. My cast did a fab job. The playwright told me she loved it, which is great considering the play was about a personal experience she had.

TOMORROW I PERFORM MY ONE WOMAN SHOW. AH! Yay for cowboy hats! I'll try and get some pictures taken of the performance in action and post 'em up here when I get a chance.



CHICKEN AND MAXIMUS MOMENT OF THE DAY IN THE BOX OFFICE
We're listening the Jersey Boys. "Oh What A Night" comes on...we both start singing.
CHICKEN: Do you know what this song is about?
MAXIMUS: Doin' it!!!
CHICKEN: ...the fist ti-
Chicken turns back to Maximus to see Maximus making lewd thrusts. And then begins to crack up.
CHICKEN: You can't ever be in Speedating.
MAXIMUS: I already was!!
CHICKEN: Listen to you sassy pants! I'm Amy and I've been in Speedating and married Troy Bolton.
MAXIMUS: Barf. Marriage of convenience.

Last Week Of Classes-Whoa

So it's the last week of classes. Hence my lack of blog-age. Most sincere apologies. But I do have a plan in the works for a killer blog post that will arrive as soon as I have the time to write it and post it. Muhahahahahahaha. It's going to be awesome. Get excited!

So...
Life is mildly nuts right now. Lots of work and little time to do it in, but I dare say I'm enjoying it. I like working when there's a lot to do and I like being busy. It might be boring to you but here's the basic run down of what's going on in my life right now:

I am in Advanced Directing. Saturday, the 10 minute one act plays that the class and I directed will be performed. I've really enjoyed this class and I'm finding out more and more that I really like directing and this may be what I pursue with more vigor and clarity one I graduate. There's something very cool about creating a world, however like or different from our own onstage. There's something really awesome about communication between myself as a director and the actors and how that translates into the scene. There's something really awesome about making it happen. There's something really awesome about it not happening and then figuring out the way to make it happen. And there's something really awesome about it not happening and being what actually should happen. I pretty much dig it. Anyway, I'm really proud of my scene and how far it's come. Of course, any director would say they'd love more rehearsal time and I would love more rehearsal time. But I do feel very good about where we're at. Anyway. That's the story with that. Oh, I should also mention that these plays we're directing were written by the playwrighting class. So we're dealing with new work which is pretty sweet.

So...this screenplay I'm writing. Have to be honest...not to pleased with it. There are moments where I like but most of the time I'm like, "this is shit." This may not make sense: But it may be the thing I had to write about it get it out of my system. Anything written about it would probably never have been good. So now that I've written this and gotten it out of my system I can move on to writing better stuff. I mean...it's not horrible...well, yeah...it's horrible. Hahahaha.

So...this one woman show I'm performing Monday I could not be more excited about. I keep making new discoveries with it each time I rehearse which is oh so important and oh so good. It's definitely a work in progress and will be so when I perform on Monday but is complete in and of itself but it's also in a really good spot. I think my Dad might come see it. As will Meghan and David. This makes me happy. But also nervous. I'm really hoping to expand on this piece and make it into something larger in the future. We'll see what happens.

Man. I'm sorry. Is this like the most boring post ever??? This is all what I have on the brain right now, so...

OH!
Here's something that's mildly amusing....

So I was walking across campus the other day and there was a table set up about organ donation and becoming a donor. In order to attract people over to the table they had bright signs, loud voices and well, this...

Yes. Yes. That IS a giant inflatable liver mascot with a man inside. You can't see it because his back is turned but on the other side it has arms.
Or is it a kidney?
Honestly the first thought I had when I saw it?
"Why is there a man dressed up as a giant inflatable raw sirlon steak? Is this a table for the meat industry? Am I having halucinations about meat since I've gone veg?????"
[BTW...still meat-free! Woo-hoo! It hasn't been hard at all.]
But no. It's a giant organ.
I took this picture from afar and really wanted to go up to him/her/it and ask it to take a picture with me but I was really worried that would involve an exchange for one of my vital body parts. I'm sorry but a picture with this thing wasn't worth a lung, heart or even gall bladder.
Now I have this crazy scenario playing in my head of these people at performing organ harvesting on there little table outside the student center, "Step up! Save a life be an organ donor! We harvest your organs free! Right here! Right now! We'll even numb the pain by knocking you out with a baseball bat first! Don't make us sic the giant inflatable liver-kidney on you!"
Now I have this picture of me running through the campus being chased by a man wearing a giant inflatable liver costume.
...do you see what the last week of classes DOES to my brain?
Well...I mean this is the way my brain operates normally but let's just say during the last week of classes I lose my "oh I probably shouldn't say that people will think I'm weird" filter.


I think it should be noted yet again that there are few things I enjoy more in this world than getting into facebook wall arguments with my brother. What are we arguing over today? Well, I took the facebook quiz "What Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle Are You?" (Because that's so much more important for me to know than what Jane Austen character I am) And I sent the quiz to my brother. I turned out to be Leonardo. He is Michelangelo. If you know the T.M.N.T. this pretty is really pretty much my brother and I to a T. My brother also has the "I'm a 19 year old boy and don't understand that certain things shouldn't be said in a public arena" thing going on which amuses me more than anything else. He put this on my wall:

"hey while your off saving the worl might as well hook up with angelina jolie and adopt all the orphans in the world!

leonardo sucks! while michealangelo is off having a good time enjoying life, leonardo is in the bathroom cutting his wrists over a stupid mistake he made!

and num chucks fucking rock! the are the coolest weapon by far! and at least my guy gets pussy! leonardo has to jack it every night just so he doesn't feel lonely every night!"

...um...charming, brother. Just...charming. Just...*sigh*...charming. Hey ladies...he's single. If you want him he's ALL yours. ALL yours...
...but hurt him and you deal with me.
Seriously.


OH! I remembered something else I wanted to talk about...

Can we talk for a sec about smiling at people? Ok...
Look, I can't help it...I'm a smiley sort of person chances are if you pass me on the street I will smile at you.
Chances are if you are a crossing guard or a CTA attendant or trying to hand me a Time Out, I will not only smile at you but say good morning or thank you.
It's just the way I roll.
Several things I'd like to say on this:

a) I was crossing the street the other day with a large number of adults. A wide age range. We were all at the corner before getting to the CTA so we were all headed to work or school or whatever. There was a crossing guard there as there are at many corners in the morning to help young children cross safely in the midst of crazy Chicago drivers. Right? So, I cross the street and she's standing on the corner, smiling and saying "Good morning" and "Have a great day" to the general mass as we passed. And you know what? EVERYONE walked right by her. Nobody even looked at her. This hurts my heart. Also...getting off the CTA at Loyola there is always an attendant there handing out Time Outs. She always says good morning and hands Time Outs to everyone who passes. It astounds me the number of people that totally brush pass her without even so much as a "no thank you." I mean really sincerely it irks me. And it's real hard to irk me and that irks me. I mean if you don't want a damn Time Out is it really so hard to say "No thank you"? Do you really need to act annoyed and just walk on by? Maybe I'm just a big lame-o. Even if I don't want one I take one and make sure I make eye contact and say "good morning." It's just nice to be nice to people. And even if you don't want to be nice to be nice-at the very least think of it as good karma-sheesh. I know some people might think this is really really stupid and trivial but I don't. I just get real mad when I see people being treated with disrespect for no good reason. Professors, doctors, deans, bosses, whatever are certainly not the only ones owed respect. So are the CTA workers who get your ass to class and school everyday and the janitors who clean up after you and crossing guards who, even if you might not need it, make sure you get across the damn street safely. How hard it is to take .5 seconds to make eye contact and say "thank you"? Rawr!!

b) 80% of the average joes I pass and smile at when I walk on the street either look away or look at me like I'm nuts. There are of course exceptions. The one exception that is always consistent is kids. Kids always smile back. This is why I love kids...they make my heart happy.

c) Today I was walking across campus and smiled at a fellow student-a dude walking down the sidewalk with some headphones on. We made eye contact. Now, I would say that of the 80% of the people who look at me like I'm nuts when I smile at them or outright ignore me...probably about 65% of these instances happen on campus. Seriously. But this dude totally smiled back. And it wasn't a half assed obligatory smile either, it was all out honest to goodness true blue SMILE. Is it weird to say this instance made my day?


QUOTES OF THE DAY

(On my recent foray into vegetarianism (man that's a hard word to spell))
CARLY: You are really skinny.
ME: So?
CARLY: You might skinnier!
DAVID: See!!
ME: As long as I'm healthy...so?
DAVID: So! You'll be easier to kidnap.

HAHAHAHA...so I should eat hamburgers to be fatter to be less easy to kidnap. Awesome. We are talking about me-the person who says "good morning" and "hi" to random people on the street so I think really at this point, my lack of meat in my diet and how it relates to the likely hood of my abduction is rather unimportant.

I Survived The 2008 Midwest Earthquake

It happened around 4:40 am...
I was sleeping in my bed...minding my own business.
I was curled up, arms around my giant dog bear when I felt my bed start to shake. I began to wake up and can remember the distinct sensation of my ass jiggling. As I began to wake up more and realized that in fact my entire bed was shaking several thoughts went through my mind (please remember that my mind works in very strange ways to begin with and this is only exponentially compounded when I'm sleeping, dreaming, or half way in between wakefulness and sleep):

a)"Amy, you've been known to be unable to sit still. Maybe now you've gotten so hyper active you can't SLEEP still. Calm yourself and quit shaking." (Pause) (Pause) "Um...ok that's definitely not me doing that."

b) "Um...my entire bed is shaking."

c) "Some emergency vehicles just drove by...it's probably them shaking the house." (Pause) (Pause) "OK, but they're gone now and my ass is still jiggling."

And this is the part where I lose my sense on reason...
d) "Oh man. I am totally being haunted. There is a ghost under my bed shaking it...oh wait, how could there be anything under my bed my mattress is just on the floor...Still...I think I am being haunted...I mean ghosts are ghosts they wouldn't have to be under the bed to shake it...Something is trying to wake me up! I am going to turn around and there's going to be a poltergeist standing in corner and it's going to be like, "great now that you're up we can get to the really scary shit where I start throwing crap around the room and make the head of the giant dog bear you love so much spin." And then I'll be like, "Mess with my dog bear and you DIE, jerk!" (Pause) (Pause) (I turn and look) (There's nothing there) (The shaking stops) "Great. I'm going back to sleep. Come here dog bear. Nobody is spinning your head as long as you're mine." (Snuggle dog bear. Proceed to pass out)

OK, so I wake up this morning thinking maybe this whole thing was a figment of my CRAZY DREAMING brain. I mean we are talking about me-the girl who dreamed she climbed Mt. Everest on roller skates UNDERWATER. And was so convinced the dream was real when she woke up, was ready to TELL everyone, "Hey I climbed Mt. Everest." And it wasn't until later in the shower when she totally woke up that she was like, "Oh yeah. Dream. Right. Impossible to climb Mt. Everest on roller skates underwater. Good thing I realized this before I told anyone."
THESE ARE THE THINGS THAT MAKE ME QUESTION MY SANITY


...anyway.
So I wake up thinking I made this whole thing up in my dreamy head.
It wasn't until I signed onto facebook and saw everyone's status like, "Earthquake?!" and "Was that an earthquake?" and "What was up with that shaking??" that I figured it out.
Then I checked it out on the news and sure enough..."Earthquake registering 5.4 on the Richter Scale hits Midwest."

Then I was weirded out.

Also...I'm labeling this post with an "Earthquake" tag just because I think it's hilarious that this will be the only post under that label.

I also LOVE that this is a huge deal. It was all over the local news. People in California are probably like, "5.4?! That doesn't even MAKE the news here. I walk my DOG in a 5.4 Earthquake. You Midwesterners are WIMPS."
...and then we laugh at them when they freak out over an inch of snow.

Few Things

I'd like to tell you that there are few things better in life than sitting with one of your closest friends by the lake on a gorgeous (though windy) day and talking about everything from love to the waves to Chicago to poop. If you think I'm kidding. You clearly don't know me and my pal Meghan.

Also, I need to tell you guys a story about today. It starts as most great stories do with the words, "So I was putting on my underwear."
Ready?
Here it goes...
So I was putting on my underwear this morning and I went to put my leg through the little leg hole and missed. This caused my foot to catch on my underwear and for me to lose my balance. In order to not fall over completely, bare-assed and holding my underwear I steadied myself by immediately slamming my foot to the ground. But when I did this I didn't land so much on my foot as I did my pinky toe. Um. It hurt. Real bad. It still hurts. Now, I'm not general bitchy and whinny but I actually think it's as hurt as it can be without being broken. My name is Amy. I am so extra special that sometimes something as simple as putting in underwear can not only be a challenge but be dangerous as well.


So, I housesit for these pretty cool people: Sharon and Logan. They are pretty much awesome in every way. Good people. Good artists. Just all around fab-ness and two people I just really look up to. ANYWAY. The other day Sharon was telling me something about love and in this speech she gave me about love she said something about me needing a blue wool suit. I told her I agreed with everything she said, but had to ask, "why a blue wool suit?" here is what she said:
"All dykes need a well tailored blue wool suit. It can be worn anywhere, dressed up, dressed down, converse and t-shirt, black shoes and white button down, New York, Europe. Look at Ellen, she is always wearing navy blue suit pants, everyone loves her and she owns the world. Just go to Bananna Republic and ask if they have a petit section. You'll never be sorry."
I'm sorry but that's just fabulous.
And she's sold me. Now I need to find a well tailored blue wool suit.



QUOTES OF THE DAY

Voice and Diction class. We are warming up and giving each other massages (best class every, btw). Nan, the professor has maybe one of the nicest speaking voices you've ever heard. It's just very melliferous and that's about the only way to describe it:
NAN: Yes. Really give them a nice massage...work your way down either side of the spine. Gooooood. (we're all very relaxed at this point because aside from the fact we're getting massages, Nan has a very calming voice) (pause) (pause) It's important, class, to get a life partner that knows how to give good back rubs.

YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

Ok, usually I don't even take these. And after I take them I rarely have the desire to post them BUT this one was just too good not to. I took this quiz called, "Which Ambiguous Dyke Are You?"

Here is my result...



HILARIOUS!

FIND THE QUIZ HERE IF YOU'RE CURIOUS

Dad After College

So I went to the studio today after working at the box office to stop in and say hi to my boss, Mrs. Yueill.
While there I had quite an extensive conversation with a four year old girl.
We talked about the fact that I attend college.
We talked about what one does in college.
We talked about the color of the car I drive (duh).
I told her that college comes after high school and that, yes, I had been to high school already.
She asked me how long it takes for me to get to school when I drive.
I told her an hour.
Then she looked up at me and said, "So after college are you going to be a Dad?"

...Now...
Kids mistake me for a boy all the time. They'll use the pronouns, "he" and "him" when referring to me.
Or, some will straight out ask, "Are you a boy or are you a girl?"
It does not bother me in the least.
In fact, I find their honestly and ability to be totally nonjudgmental really refreshing.
It comes with the territory of having short hair and no boobs. I don't have the signals that typically ready, "WOMAN." I have the signals that read, "PRE-PUBESCENT BOY". I get it. It's ok. I've come to accept this and love this about myself. That, and I really don't know what I would do with boobs if I had them. Let's be honest, they would throw off my very center of gravity.
So, yeah...I get mistaken for a boy fairly often.
Mostly by kids but occasionally by a gas station attendant, waiter or what have you.
Most adults mistake me in a quick glance and then instantly realize their mistake.
What usually follows is awkward.
Ok, disclaimer to all the gas station attendants, waiters and what have you who read this blog (duh, everyone reads this blog) and could potentially mistake me for a boy: When I say, "it's fine." I really mean it. There is no need to continue to apologize profusely. Mistaking me for a boy didn't bother me, in fact it's kinda funny to me. But now you are starting to bother me by continuing to draw attention to the fact.

ANYWAY.

All this to say...being asked if I would be a Dad after college is the first time I've been so completely and totally mistaken to be a boy. It's more interesting to me than anything else. This little girl read me so much as "male" that she asked me if I would be a DAD.
I don't remember what I said in response. But I didn't correct her. I did not say, "No, but maybe I'll be a Mommy." For so many reasons:
a) I love love love kids. But I am in no place in my life to even begin to fathom in the slightest sliver of a thought the idea of having my own children. So, to be fair, even if she asked "Will you be a Mommy after college?" I still would be weirded out.
b) I did not want to embarrass her.
c) I really really worry sometimes working with kids. Sweet and innocent as the kids are, you never know how the parents are. And I worry sometimes about how parents will react to me messing with their childs preception of gender. I worry about how parents will react to, someone that could be seen as clearly gay (me), teaching their children. So, in this instance, I played the part and let her continue to think I was a boy because THAT was the SAFEST option. Isn't that weird?? Is it wrong?? I don't know.

Whatever. I'm probably over thinking it.

It's kinda strange for me. I don't think about my "gender" very often. I move about the world in a way that's comfortable for me and don't really think twice about how people see me or what sort of image I'm giving off. But it's times like these I'm sort of forced to stop and take a look. And not that's a bad thing. It's just interesting.

Oh gender!! I may never be able to wrap my brain around you.

But I should probably also mention that the little girl who asked me this question was the same little girl who told me when I asked her what she wanted to be when she grew up that she did not want to work. When I said, "Hey, that sounds like a good idea to me. What do you want to do, just play all day?" She shook her head and said no. "I won't work so I can take care of my kids!"
She was four.
So...with this in mind it is quite possible she was maybe looking to make me her husband??
I flatter myself.

I Figured It Out

I want to be Conan O' Brien when I grow up:

I've Been Thinking...

So...

I'm sitting here in the information commons, as it's called, before class. And basically this place is just three floors of computers and study areas. It's right on the lake and is pretty much the best ever when it comes to fulfilling your studying and "gettin' it done" needs.

But I was thinking...

I was thinking that it would be really awesome if one floor were a roller rink. I thought this because I was sitting here like, "You know...if they took out all the furniture and computers you could totally strap on some skates and bust out some triple sow cows in this place."

And if you're going to remove all the furniture so you can skate around you might as well add a parquet floor, a disco ball, some 70s music and short shorts. I mean...am I right?! Or am I right??

What better way to shake some of the that school stress than to run around ON WHEELS while shaking your groove thing?!
I mean the only better way to unstress that I know involves ponies and I don't want to go COMPLETELY overboard here. I mean we do have to be somewhat realistic.

Can I say something about my academic institution and ponies, please?

So...around campus they've spread hay on the lawn on areas where the grass has stopped growing and there's just mud. I guess it's to keep the mud in it's place.
But I have to say...everytime I walk around campus and see the hay for a split second I forget why it's there and I'm like, "Oh my GOD, is Loyola getting PONIES?!"
Ok...
HOW AMAZING WOULD IT BE IF THERE WERE FREE ROAMING PONIES ON COLLEGE CAMPUSES?!!!?!
I can pretty much guarantee college kids would be a lot happy.
And I have to put it out there that I would absolutely NOT object to my tuition money going to fund such a cause.
I'll bitch and moan as will others likely if you tell me my tuition is going up to build a new athletic center. But WHO in their right mind would argue with PONIES????

You probably wonder why I'm so obsessed with ponies.
That's fair.
Well, it's a little known fact that I used to horseback ride regularly when I was young. From about age 7 to 12 I had lessons once a week.
I know.
I know.
I was one of "those" kids that took horseback riding. I wasn't stuck up though, I swear. I didn't do too many "shows" in fact I didn't really like "shows" I mostly just liked hanging out in the barn with...well...the horses.
I think horses are probably the most beautiful/soulful animal on the face of the earth. And if you don't believe me, you've only got to look into their eyes.
Holy crap...I'm talking like the Horse Whisperer.
But seriously, it's true.
They're lovely animals.
Here is a lovely story about a horse...
So...when I rode I usually rode this horse named Buster. He was a sweet guy, but nobody really like him the way I did. Some kind of found him to be a pain in the ass. But he was my favorite. I would feed him carrots or apples or peppermints or junior mints (no joke) after every lesson. AND on the few occasions where I did not in fact ride Buster, I would always stop by his stall to give him a treat so he wouldn't feel forgotten or sad and always know he was my favorite. (P.S. Buster was a retired race horse. How awesome is that?)
Anyway.
Years passed, we moved away, I stopped riding.
I never forgot about Buster though.
One day while in town where I used to ride, we decided to stop by the old barn.
We were told Buster was in the paddock out back. So I walk out there, turn the corner and start to walk toward him.
I swear on my life that horse saw me, picked up his head, his ears pointed forward, came right to the fence and whinnied.
AND if THAT weren't enough to melt your heart...I've got another story.
So more years went by...
I decided one day to stop by the barn again (this was like two or three years ago)
This time, Buster was very very old. I could actually see how old he was. He was so old he was "unrideable" but I was allowed to take him out and groom him.
So I did.
And as I would work my way back on his body, he would turn his head and just STARE at me. Every time. As soon as I got like halfway down his body towards his butt he would just turn his head around and STARE.
So I when he did this I would walk back to the front of him and when I did he would just put his big pony face right in my arms.
Tug on the old heart strings, eh?

That is the story of why I love ponies.

One day I hope to have a pony.





DAMN!!
This early morning posts have a tendency to be both completely random and nostalgic rehashings of my childhood, huh???


...have to go to class. It's a good thing I never talk in this first class I have. My teacher would be like, "Amy, when was the war of 1812?" and I would be like, "Um, so I think that the info commons needs a roller rink and also I really like ponies."

A Live Weather Report and Other Things

LOOK! HAIRCUT!!

(Thank GOD)


QUOTES OF THE DAY

ARIANA: 'damn, i'm so stressed out. i'm fuckin' batman, i could die today at work!'

On Vienna...
ARIANA:they do 'pretty' pretty well over here. other stuff, like the constant control of body odor? not always. but pretty....pretty is a-okay.

AUDRA: I want to give Mr. Bocephus (her cat) a bath but I don't want people to think I'm butchering a baby.

Find The Bad Thing-Epilogue

I just wanted to say thanks to everyone who played the Find The Bad Thing Contest.
Also, thanks to everyone who's told me good things about the Find The Bad Thing Results Post. I'm glad you guys liked it and thought it was funny.

A few things I need to mention in regards to the contest:
I think I mentioned that there was a co-artist to the picture. It was colored in/detailed by the five year old, Rita BUT drawn by my boss at the Studio, Mrs. Yueill.
Mrs. Yueill read the post and had this to say:
"On a more serious note, as the co-artist of the bad thing picture, I was surprised there was no honorable mention for the person who questioned the one mismatched shamrock on the dress colored blue, not green. That was a truly amazing observation that only the artist would know whether or not it was intentional and I can assure you it WAS NOT!! When I drew that in front of 10 little girls, I was personally appalled by my own error. SO, that person can't win the contest, because Rita determined the BAD thing, BUT it was truly the true bad thing in the picture."

So...anonymous who guessed the guess that the bad thing was the blue shamrock? You get a post-results post honorable mention.

Because this is a late-coming honorable mention. You get a prize:

...Allow me to explain.
I googled "honorable mention" to try and get you picture of a ribbon. This image for WHATEVER reason was one of the results that popped up. So there you go. You get a Hungry Man Honorable Mention.

P.S. I just want to say that I think it is more than slightly awesome that the actual winner of the contest is NOT someone I know. Not that I don't love my "I know you" readers with all my heart. But it makes me feel a little famous that an random person reads my blog. What have I been telling you guys all along? Duh, blogger...famous. So now apparently...11 people reason my blog. 10 of them I know. 1 of them is an anonymous person named Jess who happened upon upon my blog while looking up info on The L Word (awesome). I'm so glad my blog has moved into the realm of entertaining strangers.
...No I don't really keep track of the number of people that read my blog.
BUT
My blog is going to take over the world.

Well, Given The Fact That I Am A Lesbian...It Was Probably Inevitable

So...
I think I may be a vegetarian.
Yeah.
How did this happen?
Surfing the internet.
Somehow through reading an article and the following of subsequent links...I found myself on a website called goveg.com and uh...saw some videos.
Yeah.
Now...look, I have a strong soul but it is also soft and easily moved by defenseless things with innocent eyes.
Which includes but is not limited to:
a) children
b) animals (except of course for snakes and/or anything else that is mean and ugly (ie: tarantulas, giant centipedes and piranhas))
and
c) sometimes old people (but only sometimes...start giving me your old people shit "I couldn't get through on the phones!" "I don't want to pay service fees!" "Don't you have anything better?!" and I will give you the dirty look)).
Thus my soft and easily moved soul about broke into a million pieces when I saw a chicken being beat with a metal rod.
It was horrid. I saw/read some other stuff too. I won't go into detail.
This was last Thursday.
Since that time I've been utterly unable to even think about eating a hamburger.
Have you ever seen that Simpsons episode where lisa is about to eat meat and she sees like a little lamb or something in her head and its like, "Please, don't eat me Lisa...I love you!"
Yeah.
That's kinda what's going on in my brain right now.
Ok.
Honestly?
I've been flirting with the idea of vegetarianism for a long time. Probably since high school. I've thought, "Gee, I should really be a vegetarian 'cause hey...I dig vegetables and hey I don't like the idea of eating animals." I never thought I had the discipline though. But now...
Now meat is just gross.
Yes.
Yes.
I'm a lesbian and I just said, "Now meat is just gross."
Laugh it up.
Everything in my lesbian life now comes together and makes sense:
I hate snakes, they give me the creeps.
AND
Now I think meat is gross.
AND
I look like Harry Potter.
AND
My mail-order cat should arrive Saturday.


...So...I've been meat-free since last Thursday. It hasn't been too hard thus far. I mean, honestly let's think about the things that figure promiently in my diet anyway:
a) Nachos
b) Burritos
c) Oatmeal
d) Hummus and pitas
e) Pizza
f) Tuna
g) Chocolate
These are all things I ate a lot of before last Thursday and they are things I will continue to eat a lot of now.


So I was sharing this story with him and my Dad about how horrible this videos I saw made me feel. How sad they were, ect...
BROTHER: (Dead Serious) If you think that's bad, you should see the videos about cat bottling in Japan.
(I begin to crack up)
ME: Jimmy, there is no way that's real.
BROTHER: It is to real!! They mistreat the cats and stick them in bottles. There's this video on youtube where they throw this crate of like 60 cats on the ground it's so sad!
ME: Jimmy, I really don't think that it's real.
BROTHER: It is! There's a facebook group dedicated to stopping cat bottling in Japan.
ME: Jimmy...
BROTHER: What?! I'm just saying it's really sad what they do to these cats!
ME: Well, what I saw was really sad too.
BROTHER: But they just throw these cats on the ground in this crate-
ME: Jim, I really don't think cat bottling is real.
BROTHER: It is!! They put cats in bottles and then sell them.
ME: Well, then...how do the cats eat and poop?!
BROTHER: They die in the bottle, dumbass!
ME: Jim, if they died than they would start to decompose and smell and NOBODY would want to buy that.
BROTHER: Uh, well you can get your pets stuffed after they die and keep them in your house. THEY don't decompose and smell.
(At this point my Dad and I just look at him)
BROTHER: What?! You can. People do. After their pets die they get them stuffed.
ME: Like deer heads?
BROTHER: Yes!!
ME: That's called taxadermy and is something compeltely different. Their stuffed and chemicals are used to keep them from decomposing and smelling.
BROTHER: Whatever!
ME: Jimmy, they don't put kittens in bottles.
My brother and I are absolutely RIDICULOUS and I love the fun and engaging conversations we have. The best part? I am the oldest so I am always right, duh.
Also, this:

Really, Jimmy?!? REALLY?!?!!!!
...Ok, so now he maintains that HE was just trying to trick ME with this whole conversation...but I'm pretty sure he's just covering his butt 'cause he feels stupid.



LYRICS THAT HAVE BEEN STUCK IN MY HEAD RECENTLY

Ok, So I've recently fallen in love with the music of Yael Naim. Particularly, this song called "Far Far" the song itself is very lovely, but there's a particular lyric that's just so amazing that I simply have to share:
"Far far there's this little girl
She was praying for something big to happen to her
Every night she ears beautiful strange music
It's everywhere there's nowhere to hide
But if it fades she begs
'Oh Lord don't take it from me, don't take it' She says
'I guess i'll have to give it birth
to give it birth'"

Love it.



And I must also share that this Jason Mraz has been stuck in my head too...
"Well you done done me and you bet I felt it
I tried to be chill but you're so hot that I melted"

...not quite as profound, but still fun.