The Diet 0 out of 10 Doctors Recommend

So, I don't know if any of you are trying to shed a few pounds but I've come across a diet that does the trick.

Now, it's not recommended by doctors. Probably because unlike eating healthy and exercise...it actually WORKS. No joke. For real.


It's called the flu.

And if you get it every 3-4 weeks like I have for the past three months, it really helps keep a trim figure. Now, I'm not saying you have to get the flu and be out of commission for 3-4 days like you might think. I'm talking up the straight up 24-hour flu. It's awesome. You barf up everything in your stomach for a day and then don't feel like eating for 2 or 3 days afterwards. Sweeeeet. I've even gone to work with the 24-hour flu. You just have to make sure you have access to a bathroom and that you can get there in time. 'Cause nobody wants to be around when you spill your stomach bile and semi-digested contents of your dinner. Gross. So if you're gonna get the 24-hour flu, be respectful about it.

It's also awesome because in between days when you have the 24-hour flu you can eat whatever you want. For example:
"Should I have another ice cream cone? Well, yes I should because I'll just get the flu in a few days. Ice-cream tender! Tend me another scoop of cookie dough...better yet, make it a double!"

24-hour flu...better than exercise, better than no ice cream, number one on my diet list. Sorry, Trimspa, looks like you get bumped down to the number two spot but at least you got South Beach Diet beat.