Questionable Food Items

So this weekend I bought okra. I've seen okra before, I've even tasted it but my experience with this green (is it considered a green?) has been pretty limited. So anyway. I'm in the store, mission...okra. I called ahead to make sure they had fresh okra because it isn't generally carried in the commercial supermarkets here. They did. So I tally ho-ed to the produce section to search. I went up and down the produce section a few times and couldn't find okra on sight so I started looking at the labels to see if I had maybe overlooked it. I found a label that read:

"Chinese Okra."

"Sweet," I thought.

"Mission: Okra accomplished," I thought further.

"Props to me," I thought even further.

Then I glanced down at the vegetable corresponding to the label "Chinese Okra." What I saw wasn't okra. Or at least it didn't look like the okra I'd seen. I don't know if you are familiar with the aesthetic of "Chinese Okra" but it pretty much looks like thin zucchini crossed with a cactus. Also, they were at least a foot and a half long.

So I stood there for a sec staring at this strange okra. I contemplated whether or not to get it. Then I thought, "Well it says okra. And I came on Mission: Okra and I'll be damned if I'm not going to complete my mission."

So I start to bag this stuff. I'm not sure how many to get. But considering they were probably a foot and a half long at the shortest, I figured I'd be safe bagging two and calling it a mission accomplished. So, I'm bagging this suckers, literally in the store laughing out loud at how ridiculous it is. I mean...I could had beat a small man with one of these things. So I'm laughing because I'm pretty positive it's not the type of okra I'm after, but in my brain I'm thinking: "Maybe the okra I've seen is just baby okra. Like baby corn. Or grape tomatoes. Or baby carrots. It happens. Vegetables have babies too."

Anyway.

I'm bagging this huge ass Chinese Okra which laughing outloud and people are staring and I start to walk away towards to check out and I spy a box full of plain old regular okra. What I though it looked like. So I unbagged the warped okra I had and scooped up some of the okra I came for, still laughing and shaking my head.

Mission: Okra was almost a failure. But it turned out ok in the end. This is entry doubles as a public service announcement to warn others about Chinese Okra. If you are looking for okra, don't be fooled by these long-zucchini-cactus looking things. They will most surely throw off any Mission: Okra you attempt. Unless of course your mission is Mission: Chinese Okra. Then by all means, be fooled by these long-zucchini-cactus looking things.

It also helps on any mission, but especially missions where okra is involved, if you dress in chic, sleek black and walk around humming your own theme song.





So my Dad got a bag of apples at the store. And they are green. It says on there that they are granny smith apples. But it also says "Extra Fancy Apples" on there too. I don't understand why they are so fancy. They weren't especially shiny. They weren't laced with lace. There didn't appear to be anything "Fancy" let alone "Extra Fancy" about them. I'm upset that we are now placing class systems on apples. Isn't the disparity between the rich and the poor in our country and in our world crazy enough to show us that extreme classism isn't good???

Now we have to go making a class of bourgeois apples???????????

What about the "ordinary" apples?? Has anyone thought about them? Who wants to buy "ordinary" apples?? No one. How will they ever survive? How will they feed their children? They will fall victim to this senseless system of class and labeling. I don't even want to think about the poor "skid row" apples. I'm sure most of them don't even make it out of the orchard. And to think...they grow right down the branch from these so called "fancy apples"!

Oh, oh, oh...the world in which we live. It makes my poor soul cry.

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QUOTE OF THE DAY
5 YEAR OLDS IN ART CLASS TODAY: You are a toaster!! Toasty toaster head!

(Yeah, no joke. I got called a toaster. I don't know why. I don't know how. But it's like the third time in two weeks I've been insulted by 5 year olds.)